I found tennis relatively late in life. I wanted exercise, that’s all, and one day, watching my son take a tennis lesson, I thought, now that looks like a good workout. I thought that since I was pushing forty I would probably never be good enough to play any real tennis but chasing the ball around the court for an hour or two a week might help me tone up a bit.
Well, it’s five years later and I’ve just come from my regular Saturday doubles game. Tomorrow I’ll play in my regular Sunday group. Mondays I play in a clinic, Tuesdays I have a regular doubles game. Thursday I play singles with a friend at noon. Wednesdays and Fridays I have no scheduled tennis but I’ll sub if I’m asked. I’m known in these parts as a bit of a tennis whore, because I’m an easy get as a sub. It’s just that I have the privilege of working at home and having kids old enough to take care of themselves which makes me a little more flexible than many people. If somebody needs a sub they know that I’ll usually drop whatever I’m doing and test the sound barrier speeding to the court. I’m obsessed.
Recently somebody told me that everything you need to know about life could be learned on the tennis court. His point was that one must always be in the moment; don’t be filled with self-loathing because of that point you just botched. Move on. Be honest, do your best, don’t stand there admiring your last shot, get ready for the next. If the court is so wise, I wanted to tell him, why won’t it tell me how to fix my second serve?
Anyway, I thought I might use my blog to share any insights that come my way while playing tennis. Today, it occurred to me that what messes up women in tennis, is our biological tendency to want to look at each other’s faces all the time. I love this book called The Female Brain, by Louann Brizandine, MD. In it she talks about how women and men are neurologically wired quite differently. We women need to bond with each other – it’s a primitive drive that was necessary to protect our offspring. Women like to look at each other’s faces and gauge each other’s emotions all the time.
On the tennis court, for me anyway, this creates a problem. When I am receiving a serve, for example, I find myself standing with knees bent and racket ready, but when the ball comes rocketing into my court, I have to say to myself, “watch it into the racket” because if I don’t, my tendency is to watch my opponent’s face. I have noticed, in mixed doubles, that men don’t do this. Men watch the ball. They have a hunting instinct that makes them want to follow prey and attack it. Women have that too, but the bonding instinct that makes us want to smile at each other all the time can thwart it. Anyway, that’s what I think happens. It sounds much better than the other explanation which is just that I’m a spaz.
