Put…the sock…down!
Following up on my Dog Whisperer post from a few days ago, there was a fascinating profile piece in the New Yorker magazine a few years ago about Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer. If you click on the link you will only be able to read an abstract of the piece but if you subscribe you can read the whole article.
The author of the article showed dancers and movement specialists silent footage of Cesar walking around and working with dogs. They were really amazed at his self-carriage and his sense of balance when he moves. Millan is always trying to teach the people he works with how to carry themselves. I’m fascinated with this because it’s incredibly important when working with animals, especially horses. When riding or leading horses, one must always have a good erect posture and strong positive energy or things can go really badly. Of course when they turn into pasture potatoes like my guys you can go limping into their stalls and sob into their necks, if you’re having a bad day, and they’ll just comfort you with the sound of their steady breaths and thoughtful chewing.
But the language of animals is all in their bodies and they read our bodies to learn what we want from them. Our voices are just noise. That’s why Cesar doesn’t say, “good boy”, “bad boy,” etc. He just uses that hissing sound which mammals are naturally alarmed by. And then he uses his body to communicate with the dogs. I love when he walks into a room and these really spoiled, dominant dogs get this holy shit look about them. His body and posture changes theirs instantly. This is so interesting to me.
Look at the posture and self-carriage of people with naturally dominant personalities – like cops, firemen, old-school nuns! Nobody taught them to carry themselves that way, they just do. I try to practice it always when meeting animals I don’t know, this sort of calm, assertive posture. It makes them feel safer in your presence. Humans think coddling and soothing noises makes animals feel safer, but it makes them feel very unsafe, as they worry that they are expected to be in charge, and they are naturally insecure – like all of us.
Okay, now back to work.
Ann:
I enjoyed your assessment of Cesar Millan’s body language and use of his voice. His calm assurance and confidence are what I first noticed when I began watching the show. And his patience!! He is mesmerizing to watch, as are the reactions of the dogs he works with. Not to mention the owners of the dogs. Catching glimpses of them is entertaining and enlightening, too.
My son is a police officer, and you’re right about the instinctive manner in which cops and firemen carry themselves. Ever since he was a teenager, Jack has had dominant body language and a no-nonsense personality. When I ride along with him on duty, I am fascinated by watching this self-assured, forceful man who I remember as little boy who didn’t want to go to kindergarten or spend the night away from home.
Watching Cesar is going to be a great learning experience for me.
“Pasture potatoes”!! How hilarious!!
Elizabeth, I love what you just wrote about your son. So sweet about the sleep overs and the way he naturally evolved as a teenager. I’m sure you helped him acquire his confidence!
I thought I had watched every Dog Whisperer, in fact I am watching it now,how did I miss the one about the rescued rottie? What I like about Cesar is that it is never the dogs fault.
Pasture potatoes? very funny! hehe!
You know Ann, this is so interesting on so many levels…I have no doubt in my mind that my human children react similarly to me when I have less that parental/powerful poise!
; but like you, I agree our confidence and response to an individual is impacted by far more than their position or their words. (Although I am right fond of your words..I envision you very at ease, yet purposeful as you compose….)
Not that I am trying to say my kids are dogs, necessarily
Ann…Thank you for sharing your insight..it really makes sense…I love watching the Dog Whisperer..and have learned so much from him in dealing with our dogs….We have one pitbull..who is very sweet..but loves to chew, bark and show her dominant side, especially around other animals…and a Golder retriever….sweet as can be…and let’s the other dog dominate..so he has taught us alot about their behavior….
Hmmm, very interesting about the posture,positive energy around animals information. I must insert some of that into my life.
: )
I have surrounded myself with animals of every kind since I can remember……a long time.
Mainly dogs, with everything else in between. I showed Labs for over 30 years. In conformation shows, obedience, hunt tests and tracking. Now we have Shelties in Agility. One has to be the dominant pack leader to keep the peace. I had several stud dogs at one time, and people were amazed they “got along”. They not only got along within their group , but with others dogs as well. I would have it no other way. I never had to worry about aggression from my dogs, but certainly had to keep a look out for others. Most people who had problems with their dogs behavior, usually shielded them from ever socializing with other dogs. They were always AFRAID to let their dogs get close to others, which in turn would tell their dogs that there was something to fear…..creating aggression.
They could never “get it”. Cesar is a remarkable person. I feel for him at times, because some people are so dense – that no matter how you explain things – it is way over their heads. Especially the ones who humaniize their pets – agh! I have a neighbor who just bought a Westie puppy. When the dog is in the house they are putting newborn diapers on her so she doesn’t pee on the carpet! I told them that was not teaching her anything, and would end up giving the poor pup a really bad burn/rash, and possibly a UTI. I explained crate training and offered one of mine……no, it was too cute and they would do it that way! Some people should never own dogs! OURS HAVE IT MADE FOR SURE!
So true Sandy, about how tragic it is when people “humanize” their pets. It’s like talking at a person constantly in a language they can’t understand. Cesar Millan refers to retrievers as “soft breeds,” as they were never originally bred to kill or protect and if their owners don’t mess them up they are naturally more calm/submissive than, say, a terrier. We too have a pack that has never had a fight – they’re all fed at the same time (we once had two dogs that just had to be kept away from each other at mealtime, but one was rescued as an adult from a shelter and had issues). We also allow all the guys who play hockey here to bring their dogs and they all get along because Daphne is always the alpha female. She’s very stable but instantly sets limits with dogs who overstep their bounds.
And Cheryl you are right about how at ease I am when I write. Lately I’ve been writing in my bed. I get up, do errands, get back in bed and write. Am in bed now! Very much at ease!
Ann:
Regarding how at ease you are when writing: Is this your normal personality and mindset? Or are you calm and at ease only while doing things you love–writing, grooming and riding your horses, spending time with your family, etc. I have great difficulty living in the moment, which is the foundation for feeling calm, don’t you agree? You project such confidence and peacefulness, and I’m wondering if you have to work to achieve this state or if it is natural for you.
Observing Cesar Millan is giving me glimpses of how peaceful, patient, and confident I might become with practice and mindfulness. The joke he tells about the man who asks his dog what time it is and the dog replies, “Now! Now! Now!” is a perfect example of what I’m trying to achieve.
No, I actually have serious problems with anxiety. It really runs in my family. Am highly anxious, but have been working at it and am much better than I used to be. My anxiety inhibited me, creatively, for a very long time.
Moving to the country and spending a lot of time with the horses really helped me. At the beginning, since it was my lifelong dream to keep horses, I did everything – mucking, etc, myself. Now I have somebody who helps with the mucking, but I still do grooming and feeding (with help from daughter and her friend). I’ve also taken up tennis in the past several years and have had to learn not to let anxiety mess up my game. I have to remind myself to breathe, when anxious, and the horses have really helped with that. If I’m out riding alone, and I hear a noise that I fear will spook the horse, my instinct is to hold my breath. Horses also hold their breath when they are afraid. They hold their breath, and then, often, bolt in a panic. A horse knows instantly if your breathing changes when you are riding and it can really cause them to become undone. They’re herd animals, and prey animals. Their survival is dependent on being tuned in with others. So a friend taught me that when I’m out riding alone on a trail, I should sing the entire time. You can’t hold your breath when you sing. More than once I have encountered a hiker on a trail who heard me (before I saw them) belting out show tunes in the middle of the woods! But I think the vibration caused by my body, when I sing, is soothing to the horses. I’m quite sure my singing voice has the opposite effect on everybody within hearing range, but whatever.
Thanks for your reply, Ann. It’s helpful and encouraging to know that you, too, deal with anxiety. And the tip about singing is very good. I often find myself holding my breath during the day–often for no apparent reason. And that sends my heart rate skyrocketing, which increasing my anxiety. And round and round we go, huh??…
I will use the singing therapy while cleaning the house this afternoon. Often while cleaning the den, I play one of your In House interviews. Today I’ll repeat your words in a sing-song manner!! Fortunately, I’m all alone out here, and it’s too cold to open the windows. So everyone, except my poor cat, will be safe from the horror which is my singing voice. (Maybe it will sooth my cat, as it does your horses.)
The picture I have in my head of you riding your horse while belting out show tunes is wonderfully entertaining!!
Ann, that is a truly amazing story you just shared. Lucky you to live your dream with keeping the horses. How did you come about with starting to write, I just have to know how the author Ann Leary came to be.
I always sing out loud if I am feeling down. It is impossible to be sad listening to yourself sing badly and loudly.
p.s. I think your blog is coming up to a one year anniversary in the near future, got do something to celebrate.
I put the earplugs in from my IPOD and blast the music and sing along……
Only when I am the only one home