Man problems?
Need a few beauty tips?
How about some organizing ideas?
Not sure what to say when your date shows up wearing this?
Well, you’re in luck, because today is ASK LUPE day!
(this is the official ASK LUPE logo).
Blog regulars have come to rely on Lupe’s savvy street smarts, her cool, quick wit and her willingness to delve deep into the internet to find answers to questions or problems no matter how large or small. So today, I open the blog to our mentor, the wise and wonderful Guadalupe. She has gracefully offered to be our advice columnist for the day.
Well, I’ll go first, with a philosophical question. Lupe, do you believe in destiny?Also, how do you clean a leather jacket? Do I send it to the dry cleaner?
Okay, everybody, ask away. Keep in mind that Lupe is on the west coast and might not get the early comments until later. Also, if you don’t get an immediate reply, it’s because Lupe and/or I had other stuff to do for a litttle while, but will get your questions up there. Don’t be shy, you don’t have to be a regular commenter to ASK LUPE anything.
(This is from Kathie in Alaska who had trouble posting her comment. Let me know if any of you have problems)
Hi Lupe,
Do you think that age is a number or a frame of mind???
Do you believe in the power of prayer???
Thank you, Ann and Lupe
Thank you so much,
Kathie, your blogger friend in Alaska
Hi Lupe, John here, aka Lake53 (there goes my anonymity!)
Do you think one has to search for love, or just open the heart and love will find it’s way?
Thanks!
Lupe
What size shoes do you wear?
Just kidding
My question (with apologies to Samuel F.B. Morse): What hath God wrought?
(And a shout-out to Lake53 (a/k/a John)…another Man of the Blog.)
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?
I may not actually have a question this go around because I’m laughing too hard at Ann’s write up & pics. Hilarious Ann, & I especially love the Official Ask Lupe Logo! What a way to start the day!
Welcome to John, er Lake53. We won’t tell. I love your question, that would have been one of mine.
I have one, but don’t know yet how to phrase it, so will start with this:
Do you believe in the Law of Attraction, that what you put out there is what you get back? Meaning positive thoughts manifest positive things, & the same for negative thoughts?
This is from Candy:
Lupe-where were you born, and what is your nationality make up? Did you ever encounter a situation you just can’t handle? Do you garden out on the west coast? (Look, real questions.)
Ann-that picture of the kitchen makes me real nervous, wow.
Lupe – on July 4th this year the hubby and I with friends are going to Cherry Grove for the “Invasion of the Drag Queens” a traditional yearly event………….what should I wear??????
Lupe, how did you get a photo of my kitchen? Have you been stalking me?
Seriously, here’s a deep question. Since the Mayan calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012, what happens after that? Should I be living it up the next 3 years, just in case?
Thanks,
Lynn
Ann you are so cool for giving us readers the spotlight on your blog!
Oh I was right only a few questions and I am loving this already.And AlOHA John looking for love and coming out of the closet…not what I meant folks just glad for Alans sake to have another Man On The block.LOve what you have started with Tracey keeping it simple for lupe doesn’t seem to the theme..except for Tracey lol so Go Lupe here’s your questions”(funnier if you say it to the tune.Go shorty it’s your birthday
I love the idea of Ask Lupe! I have a dog related question. My lovely pup likes big dogs but has issues with cute, small floppy haired creatures. Obedience training didn’t cure her. How can I better socialize her so she can play well with others?
May you solve the problem the vet can’t!!!
Good morning!
Kathie from Alaska:
Age is both. It is a number because that is how we count our stay on earth, and it is a state of mind because by the time you have spent the years, you have developed a state of mind!.
When you are little, you want to play with everybody!. As you grow older, you narrow your spectrum more and more. Sometimes, you go back to the same type of person. Sometimes, you venture out. It is an experiment thing.
If you are comfortable within your own skin, like yourself and are open minded, you are likely to find lots of other people attractive, charming, desirable, whatever, in their own right. If you have hormonal problems, all bets are off.I am serious about this hormone thing.
Some people get turned on by ‘goods’, like money or status. It actually has an aphrodisiac effect on them!. They get past the physical appearance. Others are practical, and neither physical appearance nor status nor money (goods) are the appealing issue it itself, it is rather a mix of qualities that they look at. Like for a purpose: a family, stability, a house in the country, a status quo. (Went to the same University?, are from the same area?, married within a certain group?, have an income AND retirement?.
I do believe in the power to focus, which is what prayer is (to me). When you get your panties in a twist, you a likely to miss the problem, see it overwhelmingly huge, and miss the point that indeed, there are no problems but solutions. By praying, whatever that may mean to you, you are removing the shaft (distracting emotions) and focusing on the issue (problem) and are more likely to get to the point and deal with it. Mainly it is about DEALING with the issues.
Lake53, our fashion person!.
I have never been successful when looking for love, unless it meant to go out dancing, getting high spirited on the alcohol and amazingly enough, everybody looked good enough.
For me, I find them when I do, or pretty much they bump into me at the most inappropriate times!. Last ‘episode’ was when I needed legal advice, was in a horrible mood, had a problem (I tend to over-react), and there he was…a treat to look at… But he had a missus and I want no part of the M word.
Tammi:
six and one half.
(now, if I had said a 11, it would have killed this blog… wouldn’t it?) I mean, you can sleep standing up if that is the case, and there goes the fetish!. I mean, I have a 5 feet 2 inches frame.
Alan:
I have to check yours first..
Sandy:
The S in Lisp.
Okay. This is what I know about lisping…
Spain had a queer king. He spoke well, he was affected, he had a lisp. So? It became fashionable and desirable, to speak like the King did. And now, we all lisp!.
If you go to Argentina speaking Spanish like I do, they are convinced that there is something wrong with me. And viceversa… all because of the lisping. Actually there are very good jokes about it, and I wish I could demonstrate.
Ann:
The picture of the ugly guy… my goodness!.
There is NOTHING he can do!. Well, maybe a face transplant… HOW do I post pictures????
Tracy Edwards:
I did not know that Attraction had Laws..
I know one thing: pheromones exist. These are chemical signals that one accepts or does not!.
Something in the being of another person that you perceive, and want for yourself. Reason for the uncontrolable giggles and stuff that people engage in when somebody they are attracted to is around. I do that!!. I talk out of sync and I realize that I am doing it and I still do it!.
To Alan:
Yahweh’s metaphorical admonition was certainly prophetic. As the books of Joshua and Judges describe the situation, Canaanite tribes made for quite a collection of pricks and thorns, since it proved more difficult than God lets on to uproot them. Joshua himself — Moses’ successor and leader of the Israelites into Canaan — admits that the struggle will be long, and he warns in a valedictory speech never to accommodate their heathen enemies. Otherwise, “The Lord your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes …” (Joshua 23: 13).
It appears to me that in the quest for truth, all of our peoples have tried to make the other group vanish. The expression:
What hath God wrought? would mean something like:
What in the world?
What is this?
What did God send us?
Kind of like what I felt when I first became aware of young people dressing in black, to include their hair, makeup, fingernails and so forth (in the 70′s).
Did I get it?
Hi Lupe! Do you believe in ghosts? Is it possible that people whom have ‘passed’ try to let us know they are around by sending subtle messages or are what we perceive to be ‘messages’ merely coincidental occurences?
Ann – I’m wondering how you got the picture of my house?? At least that’s what my house feels like after the kids arrived home from school with every last piece of work completed over the past year stuffed into a backpack that exploded as it came through the door. Ugh.
And one more thing — I think we need “Ask Lupe” t-shirts…..
Have a great day everyone!!
Dear Ann:
Do I believe in destiny…
I believe that there are certain unavoidable facts(ingredients like) ( genes and nurture) that would make anyone do certain things that would in turn make same individual end up in certain spots or places/situations. Kind of like a road that is going to take you to this one place only.
As I was implying yesterday about myself, the facts that I was pushed to study Cathechism, IT being a version of what the Church wanted the people to believe and live by, made me a certain way. Being named Maria, gave me a status of being worthy? saintly? destined? of great importance? representing something good? Then, being taught to read on a freaking Bible, had its own meaning. By a Bishop mind you, with all of the glory of the outfit and implication of knowledge of the Truth. My mom’s comment that I started lots of things and finished none, also had an effect. (she was right, by the way). Then my curiosity. Then my grandma’s libros in the attick. My reading those libros. Being a Sagitarius (inquisitive mind and a need for knowledge. The rebelliousness against unfair things of the dictatorship system, even when I had nothing to compare it with. Yes, I think that there are events that may act as destiny.
You kind of make up your mind about situations and in my case I choose freedom and I feel more comfortable around truth. Then again, working at State Hospitals, I found that there was a tiny bit of too much TRUTH and REALITY, it being a place where there was a concentration of ‘messes’ by whatever design.
But we can change things too. It is like:
what do you want?
how do you get there?
what is important to you?
what is the price?
And you kind of go towards that which is most comfortable to you. Like that Connor in the book Trinity, he became the voice of his people and gave his life to change the conditions. He could have felt things less and move to Australia when he still had the time, but he had that dream. Something deep inside did not allow him to ignore his people’s fate.
If we were are ‘practical’ and accepted whatever came our way, there would be no change. It takes nutty people to change things. Unfortunately sometimes it is not for the better…
Is there a predestined destiny? It looks that way…
Ann: I am long winded…
Lupe – I want to make a kick ass skirt steak – can you help?
Oh, Wise Lupe:
I found that once I began considering questions to ask you, my brain and imagination couldn’t stop. I’ll ask only three.
First: Something I have always wanted to understand is the moon’s movement across the sky. Astrology has contantly been a mystery to me, and nothing I have ever read makes the universe any more clear. Could you possibly explain the moon and its travels to someone as challenged as I am?
Second: If you were walking down the street and met yourself coming from the opposite direction, would you recognize yourself? (I don’t think I would. Do you think this is a sign of mental illness or simply body dysmorphia?)
Third: How do you react when people sing “Happy Birthday” to you in a restaurant?
Have fun on “Ask Lupe Day”!!
Ann: Great introduction and illustrations!!
Lupe-
When will the sun shine in boston again? I can’t take it anymore.
Thanks!
C
To Paula (from prior post).
I was in Santa Maria de Garona Nuclear Power Plant, Vitoria , Espana at that time. I then spent some time in Madrid before coming to the USA during the times you described being in Spain…
There was some freedom, because Spaniards did not ‘listen’ to Franco, really. Kind of an underground thing, and yes, everybody drinks wine! and at all times of day or night.. All mixed in with strong coffee….
They tell me that I would not recognize the place today.. nor the way of life, nor the attitudes. Maybe I should swing by sometime…
Last time I was there, my younger sister took me straight off the plane onto the country side for a party.. and it went on for THREE days without sleep, only NAPS. Cafe con churros, more cafe, talk, laugh, go visit, have some wine, eat a snack, laugh some more, go dancing (anywhere, really)(sevillanas), some more drink, some more coffee, a nap, out for the evening… three days. I did not think I could do it, but I did. I had not laughed so hard for so long. The muscles in the stomach area, by the diapragm were sore from it.
They were very curious about the USA. I was asked all kinds of questions about politics, and geography and what people did in this part of the world.. I did my best.
I found out that after the exodus of people from the villages into the cities, NOW the younger people wanted to spend their time back in their villages!. And they had holidays all of the time, and parties (villages) all of the time if you drove to it. Always some function that would require? dancing and singing and wine drinking. I had forgotten about that.
I also have a more practical question for Lupe! Is there any way to remove a mildew stain from fabric or will I have to throw my daughter’s favorite blouse away? It’s a cotton/poly blend.
Ann:
How do you clean a leather jacket…
If it is ‘finished’ leather, and NOT if it is a light color, such as beige. I am lost if that is the case.
Place a small amount of a gentle, moisturizing soap such as Dove on a damp cloth and bring it to a light lather.
#
Step 2
Rub the damp cloth on the leather without putting too much water on the leather.
#
Step 3
Wipe away lather with a fresh damp cloth. Don’t rinse the leather in water.
#
Step 4
Polish leather with a dry towel.
#
Step 5
Treat leather with a leather conditioner after it has dried completely.
If it is unfinished Leather
#
Step 1
Use a damp cloth or sponge to rub saddle soap into the leather; work soap into a light lather.
#
Step 2
Wipe away lather and allow to air dry.
#
Step 3
Oil leather with a leather preservative such as mink oil.
I had a long swede brown skirt once, and this ‘expert’ at the dry cleaners ruined it. It came back with these circle-like spots..
I wonder if there is a way to fix those swede stains. I love leather, by the way.. have lots of leather pants and swede pants..
“If you are comfortable within your own skin, like yourself and are open
minded, you are likely to find lots of other people attractive, charming,
desirable, whatever, in their own right. If you have hormonal problems, all bets are off.I am serious about this hormone thing.”
Sigh. This is why we are having an “ASK LUPE” day. ANd the stuff you said about prayer, Lupe, was really fascinating and inspriring. Thanks. Hope you’re not going to be overwhelmed. The questions keep coming.
Dear Ann
http://www.advleather.com/leathercare.html
Good link to decipher whether it is
Finished
or
Unfinished leather
huge differences
This is a good project!. Bringing in all leather items (shoes too) and clean and condition them.
Wanda, I don’t want Lupe to feel overwhelmed and I like to flatter myself that I know a little bit about dog behavior (actually the subject is a bit of an obsession with me). When you say “issues”, does your dog want to play too rough or does he/she become aggressive and want to fight? Is it a he or a she? Fixed? Finally, how big is your dog. I’m guessing small.
Oh my God, I am loving this, thank God I’m alone in the office! I’m laughing so hard at everyone’s comments!
Lynn C, you stole my joke about the pic of my kitchen!
Marcia, great idea on the t shirts! Someone make them up on cafe press w/ the logo & everything! lolol
Recipe tips, what to wear to a Drag Queen festival, etc & then serious questions, oh how I love this blog!
hmmm what next??? I’ll have to ponder a bit.
Actually Lupe when I asked about the Law of Attraction, I was referring to the principle that positive thinking manifests positive things in your life. If you believe it’s going to be a great day, event, you will beat cancer, etc, you will. Basically the Universe says ‘your wish is my command’. If you think it’s going to be a bad day, then it will.
But on the love front, do you think that if a person feels deep in their heart and soul that they are meant to be with a specific person, that it is true, and just hasn’t happened yet, or is it just the person being deluded or wishful thinking?
Oh my Goodness!!!! I was away for the weekend–Friday til Tuesday, without a computer, then I have been really, really busy finishing school (last day today-yipee!!!!)– I’ve missed a ton of fun stuff….Lupe, I don’t have a question for you yet, but I may be back with one later.
Ann–I know this is old news, but I’m glad you’re back and okay..I went away concerned when there were no posts or updates.
I too was going to comment on the kitchen–when my daughter lived on her own for the first time, she called me that she needed help with straightening things up—if I had thought to take pictures, that one would be among them! She’d be mortified if she knew I was telling you all this !!
Well–I’m enjoying all the questions….thank you for the fun Lupe and Ann.
Candy:
I was born in Madrid, Spain from a father who was a native of Segovia ( Castilla, central arid,wheat producing ) for many generations. Poor people, deep into their land as a place where they belonged; and a mother, a native of Santander (north), of more means, but still deep into the land concept, as a place where they felt a part of.(more into cows here..) Both survivors of the Spanish Civil War. Both moved to the City ~Madrid. They were not doers or shakers. Both somewhat religious but with caution. Mother was serious as could be. Father was funny as could be. It was a trip to see them interact. Neither tried to influence us in any way. Oh well, maybe with a stare or two.
So, Spaniard for as long as they kept records!.
And a situation I could not handle?. Well, raising my second son through his teen years. Perhaps due to the divorce. It isn’t I could not handle it, it was more like it was painful as could be.
Used to do a lot of gardening. Used to bring in truckloads of ash, compost, volcanic earth, manure!!! and dutifully work it all in( with the clay earth, thin topsoil, after the contractors compacted in the area for SFR’s construction.. Then I planted fruit trees (too close together, as per my ex-hubby!). Then herbs all around the house.. and it smelled great during summer nights, after the heat was gone and I was able to water my plants. Used to call me “the plant lady”. I had all kinds of mints and oregano, rosemary, parsley, basil… lots of Margarites in between. And a few rose bushes I made the kids plant.
Ok, I realized my last question was really heavy and deep, so I’ll follow up with a lighthearted one.
Why do lightening bugs(fire flies) light up?
HOLY LUPELOOZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankyou Ann!!!!!
Okay. About Kim’s 4th of July “Invasion of the Drag Queens”.
I had some trannie friends in San Francisco. They are amazing. If I was to think like they may.. I could venture to say that my friend Megan (male who went through with surgery) would just love to wear:
lots of eye makeup
really nice lipstick color
a tight leather MINI skirt
some nice Stiletto shoes (to match something she is also wearing)
Her boobs (really) out there for the world to enjoy.
A real nice corset to hold it all in place.
her hair done nicely.
Her Ipod on
And enjoying life another day. She could smile like nobody else!.
If it was Charlie (also a tranie, male who was a female inside)… He would find some tall boots, and an outfit to express her style, which was very 70-ish. Charlie would wear his hair in soft curls, such as Charlie’s Angels. Charlie would find a frilly blouse. Charlie would have his nails done and perhaps have some falsies attached for length effect. Charlie would wear enough perfume to knock your sense of smell out of comission!. Charlie would smoke all the while.
And Kim is to take lots of photos for us to see!.
If it were Carmen, he would wear his combat boots, together with his stripe tall socks, the kind that reaches your inner thighs. He would wear a jean mini skirt, with a split up to his derriere. Carmen would have a simple tshirt under his also jean jacket, that he had patched up with small pieces of fabric he found along his trip from North Dakota (serious). Carmen would wear wrist and neck bracelets, plenty of rings and his hair would be bleached red, eyes with lots of eye shadow and Carmen would take his friend by the hand.
(This is real).
Lynn:
I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me! (Ann took the picture of your kitchen…)(when you were not looking).
Marcia:
I do not believe in ghosts. Yet, if something haunts you, you are likely to ‘see’ stuff. If you are preoccupied or something, not the superficial preoccupation, but the deep stuff. That is what I think happens. Sometimes we have not concluded some issue with somebody, whether it is hate or love. I have ‘perceptions’ about people, but only at times. I think it is because they are thinking about me, and I can ‘feel’ it.
It is not a scary event, it is rather comforting when that happens. I can feel danger, though. And that is one uncomfortable feeling. (Like at the state hospital, for instance).
Also, we do not know enough about the mind either. There are too many things we do not have answers to, OR we thought we knew something and then it is proven wrong. In Science I mean.
Lupe: Do you believe the Roswell story? Do you believe the conspiracy theory associated with 9/11 (I can’t believe how many people are absolutely steadfast that there was a conspiracy).
Lupe, I’m interested in your last comment about having “perceptions” about people while working at the state hospital. Isn’t there a term for the feeling that mental health workers get when they first meet a very dangerous person? A feeling like the hair standing up on the back of your neck? I’ve read that it’s a proven phenomenon. Have you had that happen to you?
Hey Ann,
Thanks for hosting “Ask Lupe Anything” day. It’s very kind and generous of you.
Hey Lupe,
Here’s my question: You’ve written very kindly about the people who have influenced your thought (I’m specifically thinking here of your history teacher and your grandmother) and how their influence has stoked a passion in you for knowledge. If you could sit down with five people (living or dead) and pick their brain, like we’re picking yours, who would you want to talk to? What would ask them? Why?
Kim:
Found this one
* 3 garlic cloves
* 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
* 1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
* 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
* 1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander
* 1 teaspoon black pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* Pinch of ground cloves
* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* 2 1/4 pounds skirt steak (2 steaks), each halved crosswise
* Special equipment: a charcoal grill and a bag of hardwood charcoal, or a gas grill
* Accompaniments: sweet-potato salad with mustard vinaigrette arugula with lemon and olive oil
How to…
Mince garlic and mash to a paste with kosher salt. Stir together spices in a bowl, then stir in garlic and oil until a paste forms. Pat steak dry, then rub all over with paste. Marinate steak in a sealed large plastic bag, chilled, at least 6 hours.
Bring steak to room temperature, about 30 minutes.
While steak comes to room temperature, prepare grill for cooking. If using a charcoal grill, open vents on bottom of grill, then light charcoal. Charcoal fire is hot when you can hold your hand 5 inches above rack for 1 to 2 seconds. If using a gas grill, preheat burners on high, covered, 10 minutes, then reduce heat to moderately high.
Grill steak on lightly oiled grill rack, uncovered, turning over once, 4 to 6 minutes total for medium-rare.
Cut steak diagonally across grain into 1/4-inch-thick slices. Divide sweet-potato salad among 6 plates, then top with steak and arugula.
Cooks’ notes: ·Steak can marinate up to 1 day.
·Steak can be grilled in batches in a hot lightly oiled well-seasoned ridged grill pan over moderately high heat. (Steaks may have to be quartered instead of halved to fit in pan.)
The recipe people assume you are going to be SIX guests.. so adjust as needed.
In the picture of the kitchen; I counted 8 calendars on the wall. wow. Lupe, if you are still looking for a job; how about at a web news service or paper with an ‘Ask Lupe Column’? Even a community paper. seriously.
Dear Lupe,
What do you think of my blog?
Tammy
(lol gosh I make myself laugh )
Howling hysterically about the drag queen dress suggestions! How did I know that Lupe would know some????? You’re all set Kim! And pics must be taken and shared.
Ann & Colleen, excellent questions, can’t wait to hear the answers.
Kristin, I can’t believe you studied the pic that hard. Now I’m going to have to study it.
Dear Kim:
It is true that if you feel positive, others are going to pick up on your state of mind and whatever there is to happen, will happen with that input (your positiveness). See, anything you do, anywhere you go, your INPUT is there. You make a change. You have a say. We do not realize it, but that is the case. I don’t care if it is your livingroom, the highway, the laundromat or your kitchen. Anything.
In a relationship, if the person ‘rings your bell’ you are already positive!!!! and you are more likely to not be critical or ‘picky’ about whatever it is about them that would otherwise be a deterrent. I think this goes back to feeling comfortable in your own skin, be ready for a relationship, not be in a needy mood, but rather able to share ‘what is available’ We are not able to fulfill anyone else completely, no-one is the ANSWER for another; things overlap and change and stuff.Kind of like overlapping circles. Being your own independent person, that is what I am trying to get at kind of takes care of ‘details’ and you can then focus on the thing, or interaction, whatever that may be. I don’t know everything, but this is how I understand it.
In general, yes, if you are positive about any situation, its outcome is going to be better off by far, than if you are bringing your ‘luggage’ from whatever was bugging you yesterday. I think.
About fireflies…
The firefly is a light-making beetle. A segment of the firefly’s abdomen produces the light. This segment houses special light-making cells and a network of nerves and air tubes.
The cells make light by combining oxygen with three important chemicals:
* Luciferin, which is present in the cells of all organisms that make light
* ATP, a chemical compound which supplies large amounts of energy to cells to do things like contract muscles or make light
* Luciferase, which starts the chemicals combining and increases the speed with which they combine; it’s an enzyme which acts as a catalyst.
Initially, ATP reacts with luciferase, magnesium ion, and luciferin to form an extremely high-energy, unstable chemical. The new chemical does not last long in this state. It combines with oxygen, changes to a lower-energy state, and emits light.
That’s how fireflies make light.
Elizabeth Madlen
Dear Elizabeth:
I have always thought you had the most aristocratic name I have encountered in a long long time..
About the moon movement across the sky (you mean the earth, right?)
How do the Sun, The Earth, and the Moon move?
(copied this from somewheres…)
“” We’re always on the move! Even when you’re standing still, you’re moving! You are moving because the Earth and everything in our solar system is constantly moving.
Our solar system includes the Sun, nine planets and their Moons, comets and asteroids. These objects are sometimes called celestial bodies, and they are constantly moving, too.
At the center of it all is the Sun. It takes the Sun 25 days to spin, or rotate, completely around.
The Earth, which is the third planet from the Sun, takes 24 hours to rotate. This is what causes day and night. As the Earth rotates, it also moves, or revolves, around the Sun.
The Earth’s path around the Sun is called its orbit. It takes the Earth one year, or 365 1/4 days, to completely orbit the Sun.
As the Earth orbits the Sun, the Moon orbits the Earth. The Moon’s orbit lasts 27 1/2 days, but because the Earth keeps moving, it takes the Moon two extra days, 29 1/2, to come back to the same place in our sky.”"
I did not know that Astrology was a Science… but maybe I am confusing the terms…
You are the greatest, Elizabeth!!! I just never got a chance to say it, but this is it!.
Elizabeth:
If I saw myself walking down the street…
I would catch up to IT, and I would say:
“How are you doing??, Are we twins?”
I would try and get something more specific than a ‘vision’ and then go see the doctor and find out if I lost my mind or if I found my sister!.
Lupe, how do you know if you’re a good mom or not? I’m constantly second guessing myself and worrying that if I screw up one thing now my children will suffer later. I try so hard — is motherhood really this hard or do I just really suck at it?
CarolynfromBoston
http://www.intellicast.com/local/weather.aspx?location=USMA0046
Dear Carolyn from Boston:
It looks like you are going to get a brief break this weekend and then must wait for next thrusday for some more sunshine!. Just enjoy. It was hot and humid here yesterday and I skipped my exercises because of it. Just be cozy.
To those commenting on the photo of the cluttered kitchen, I stole it off the web. I just did a google image search of “clutter” and there it was. Hope nobody sues me.
Dear Marcia:
The thing with your daughters blouse is that it is a mix of cotton AND polyester. Because of this…I would use a quart of really hot tap water as hot as you can get it for the clothing (recommendations on label) and a few table spoons of bleach. Allow it to sit for a few minutes and keep checking on it, till it disappears. Then wash the garment. It should take care of the mildew.
I wouldn’t worry too much Ann. Who is *seriously* going to come forward to claim that kitchen? I think you’ll be safe. Heh.
URGENT:
Marcia, I forgot to ask if the blouse has any colors on it!!.
Okay, if SO, then use the Oxygen powder and do the same thing!.
I hope I did not ruin anything.
Kim:
I am not familiar with the Roswell theory/story. I will read up on it. I do not think it is related to 9/11. About 9/11, I feel revulsion to even think that we could do this to ourselves. Again, I have avoided reading about it. I think that there are some people who see stuff.. and like to worry about stuff. I also think (again, I have not read it, like the entries at the FX Rescue me site)that if ‘we’ were not smart enough to get out of the war, how in the hell could we engineer something like this? (This is DL’s response to some people who ambushed him at a book sign up – video).
Kristen:
I will do the column with Ann , if she wants to do it here!.
Caroline:
You know if you are a good mom if you THINK you are a good mom. Children do not come with instructions!. Still, it does not hurt to think back and see if you could have done something different that could have help your children more. Circumstances sometimes fight you. Like, if you and their dad do not see things in the same way, kids are influenced by both.. kind of a thing. NOT to forget if your ex remarried, and NOW we have another FORCE influencing the children, OR if you remarry and some more of the same. It is not easy. Just love them!!! kiss them, squeeze them and learn to say NO!.
Lupe:
Mea culpa. I made–count ‘em–three unclear statements in my questions. Well, one mistake and two muddles.
I meant to write “astronomy”, not “astrology”. As I was writing the question, I kept reminding myself not to make this silly error, but, due to my advancing age, went right ahead and did it. Sorry.
Also, my curiosity about the moon’s movement across the Earth’s sky is more specifically concerning the fact that it is in so many differnt parts of the sky during different days of each month. The sun travels a fairly constant path, but the moon’s path boggles my mind. (I don’t know if this clears up my question at all.)
Also, when I asked if you would recognize yourself if you encountered yourself on the street, it was more in regards to having a healthy and comfortable recognition of your own appearance. I am constantly shocked by what I see in a mirror and, therefore, don’t believe I would know it was me walking towards me. I didn’t mean to ask how you would react to meeting an unknown identical twin.
Thanks for the compliment about my name! Quite sweet of you, and something I will always remember. And telling me that you think I’m “the greatest” and “never got a chance to say it” warmed the cockles of my heart. Your work on this blog today is astounding. Where do you put all of this knowledge??? I bow to your intellect, curiosity, wit, and ability to express your thoughts. (Witness the numerous mistakes in my previous questions….)
Lets see:
Tammy’s blog
Mayan Calendar
the 9/11 thing
More research and set aside for latter.
Colleen:
I would sit my Grandma Juana down, my dad, my mom, my Bishop uncle (twice removed) and my little sister Nieves (died at birth), and the son I lost. Then I would ask them:
“how am I doing?” “give me specifics”
They would be in the know, as they no longer have the ‘burden’ of being human and maybe their souls are freer or something…
Ann:
About the perceptions…
Well, I cannot put my finger on it. It is more like a sensation at the tip of the diaphragm. Something that feels UNCOMFORTABLE.
What I think happens is that I can sense something is out of sync, do not understand it, and sets me off into an alert mode. It is so intense that I have to do something about it.
Most people would say: “so and so gives me the creeps”, and that is pretty accurate.
No patient is in this dangerous-mode 24/7, so the same patient could make me uncomfortable one time and not another. I always listened to my ‘diaphragm’ and did something about it.
The reaction does two things: first, it alerts you that something is wrong; it ALSO tells the other person (patient) that you feel fear, which makes you WEAK. And that is the reason why one should get out of the way. You do not want to be around somebody like that when they can sense your weakness or aprehension.
I do not know if I answered your question. You could ask it a different way, if I did not.
Hi Lupe-
I read that a bunny has large ears so they can hear better and also keep cool.. read it in this month’s National Geographic for kids. How would large ears keep them cooler?
Thanks for all the research!
Thanks Lupe. This is very nice: “They would be in the know, as they no longer have the ‘burden’ of being human and maybe their souls are freer or something.”
You never disappoint.
Lupe for President!
To Elizabeth Madlem
Okay. I am ‘amazed’ at what I see in the mirror too!!. It is like :”what happened….???”. I know what happened!!!! I need to spend some 2 hours of daily workout and be in a ‘sirious’ food intake for “IT” to stay under control. Of course, I seem to have developed extra skin on my arms and legs… and I do not recall stretching anything on purpose…but there it is, staring at moi. The nerve.
Of course, “I am going to the gym tomorrow” bails me out of the immediate discomfort, and then something else happens…and I do not do it.. and then I wonder.
Happens, though, Elizabeth. Does happen. I saw some unkind photos of Goldie sunning, of Goldie getting up, and I thought: “I have seen that somewhere…”. I refuse to give up. I mean, ageing does not have to be that way, does it?.
It isn’t as if society expects much from a 61 year old. I HATE it when friends volunteer that “you look fantastic FOR your age:. Just despise it. And they do it all the time!!.
Jokes aside, it is okay to grow older, but I like it when I try harder than this scene of late. It is okay by me if others grow unsighly rolls on the sides by the waist line, but not for me. I still like the little black dresses and I still like to have a body with a shape. It is no longer possible for it to happen naturally as the metabolism slooooooows down to a halt. So you have to try a bit more. That is what I tell myself.
Now, I do not know what to do about my double chin!. It is like…ugly for sure. I am not sure if those neck exercises DO something. I asked a doctor once: “what is this?”. He comes right back and sez:”fat!”. So there.
I will look the Astronomy bit tonight.
No, your answer was very interesting Lupe. It is something primitive in all of us, I think, this ability to sense pathology in another. Animals do it all the time. We have a harder time detecting an unbalanced nature, I think, because we rely so heavily on spoken language to engage that we will sometimes not read aggression or anger as well as even a dog might be able to read in a human. A person can be saying very kind things while plotting to attack you for instance, and you might just hear their words and not sense aggression. But you must have learned so much about human nature in your work. Your curiosity about everything is what makes you so special Lupe.
Sara!
“Perhaps the most important thing about heat and your bunny is to understand how a rabbit keeps cool on his/her own accord. In a nutshell, when the bunny’s body temperature rises above its normal 102 degrees Fahrenheit, the blood vessels in its ears will dilate. The air that passes over the ears cools the blood and as this cooler blood circulates back to the body, the bunny cools down. Rabbits don’t sweat and they seldom pant, so the blood cooling process that occurs in their ears is their primary means of cooling down.”
So the larger the ears, the more SURFACE area so that more blood vessels dilate, cools off and circulates (with the cooler temperature) into its cute bod. (The rabbit, that is).
Dearest Darling Lupe,
I do not want to ask you a question… you have lots already, I just wanted to say…
THANKYOU for being there for us, and me especially this week!!!! your the best!
Ok, Marcia;
This may sound a little strange. Said earlier that I do not believe in ghosts. BUT I believe in SPIRITS… like, I never walk ALONE. I ‘feel’ or have lots of ‘spirits’ around me, like my grandma, my parents, my little sister, my bishops uncle, the son I lost…
I do not keep a ‘conversation’ or anything.. but they are somewhere ‘about’.
Now if a Psyquiatrist reads this one, he/she may have some concerns..
I think it is both comforting and funny!. I mean, HOW do spirits look? Do they resemble their former physical shape?? How do they get around?? Does the wind blow them about? Do they get cold or hungry?.
Alright I shall stop here!
Barbara, welcome back from Disney! Hope you had a great time! Yes, you came back to find that Ann let the Villagers run amok with Lupe today. It’s been a blast.
Lupe, your list of 5 people was beautiful. It really touched me.
This will hopefully be my last question:
I tend to be very passionate about things, am very excitable, and wear my heart on my sleeve. You can always tell what I’m feeling just by looking at me, or even hearing me, as when I’m really excited or happy I tend to talk a little loudly. Is this a bad thing? This is after a lifetime of being PAINFULLY shy. It wasn’t until a year or so ago(I’m 45 now) that I finally overcame my shyness, so I say that I have 40 some years to make up for.
Contrast this to my younger sister and her husband, who I swear have no pulse. They never seem to be happy or excited about anything. Even when we’re at Disney World, a Yankee’s game, what ever, nothing, no joy ever. I think that’s a sad way to live. I would rather feel intense joy and happiness and some sorrow than always feel nothing.
Anyway, do you think it’s a bad thing to be so transparent in my emotions?
Tracy:
Your comment and question sparked a severe reaction in me, which makes me want to insert myself into Lupe’s column and state my opinion. My husband is very much like your sister and her husband. He rarely reacts with any passion or excitement. High praise from him concerning a new food or a movie or any kind of experience is “It’s fine.” Drives me nuts. Like you, I often wear my heart on my sleeve. However, I’m two days shy of being 13 years older than you, and I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes one must push down an emotional reaction or a strong feeling. Not that I’m always successful, mind you, but there are occasions when it’s considerate or kind to remain calm and/or detached.
That said, I would much rather live my life emotionally the way you and I do. Several years ago I was prescribed an antidepressant, but stopped taking it after a couple of years because I felt no highs and no lows. Just enervation and a feeling of being separated from life. Despite the pain and depression I battle every day, it’s better than not experiencing the excitement and joys of life.
Honesty in emotions and words is also critical to me. Not being able to read other people through their actions and words is disturbing and unnerving for me.
Well–I’ve begun to ramble….
By the way, I think this thread is easily going to break the record number of posts in Ann’s “Who’s Youer Than You?” thread. Lupe, you are a never-ending fountain of knowledge and entertainment.
Hi Ann &Lupe
I’ve been working overnight shifts, haven’t been able to get to the blog…Leave for a few days and I come back to the Twilight Zone. Hope you are feeling better Ann. Lupe you are a wealth of info. The sun is finally shining, although I just heard on the news about Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson…Any way just wanted to say HI to everyone and hopefully I can blog with you all less sporadically very soon.
Elizabeth, I’m glad you inserted yourself. I don’t know much about you yet, so I’m glad you shared. It must be hard sometimes to be married to someone who is so different from you in temperament.
You’re right, I learned the hard way during the Presidential election that sometimes I needed to keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself. I just seem to get more excited and happy about some things, even little things than other people. The saying simple pleasures for simple minds comes to mind. hehehe In the last year I’ve really become all about finding joy in simple things – dancing in the sprinklers at the garden center, not caring that I look silly! Finding my bliss & going for it.
Since you shared about the depression, and I feel comfortable and safe here, I’ll share that I’ve been on many different anti-depressants for the last 20 years. They finally got the mix & dosage right 2-3 years ago, & I’m happy, very rarely have bouts of depression, and as I said earlier, live my life emotionally – the good ones. It’s so sad to think of you or any one else living with depression. There are dozens and dozens of anti-depressants out there, if one doesn’t work, try another, or another, or a mix. If you want to talk about it off blog, email me at [email protected] Believe me when I say I know exactly where you’re coming from, and I hate to think of you suffering if you can find the drug that works for you.
This day of posts has been wonderful – fact filled, hilariously funny, entertaining, and touching. Thank you Lupe and Ann. Lupe, you are an amazing, incredible woman, and so generous with your time today. To use a word that I use entirely too much considering my age(but it fits so many things), you are AWESOME!!!!!!
Well, I’m about to log off for the night. Our ASK LUPE day has been a great success, in my opinion. Like Lupe, I am very curious about people and love learning about all of you. It’s interesting to me that I’m supposed to be some kind of moderator here, in case anybody gets snarky or offensive but I have NEVER received that kind of comment on this blog. Okay, I did once, and months later the poster emailed me to apologize! You guys are all so fun and nice, thanks for all the comments.
And you, Lupe, Brava! and Muchas gracias! I think we all think of you as a dear friend. You’re funny, smart, a walking encyclopedia, a bit of a mystic, and a very wise student of life – and a teacher as well.
I don’t want to end the fun, you guys can keep posting comments, they just won’t appear until the morning. Nighty Night.
Thank you Lupe. Thank you for the drag queen event attire, skirt steak recipe which, I will have you know, is marinating nicely (I ran out after work) and your thoughts on some of my other questions. It was fun and I appreciate your thoughts, feelings and opinions. Yes, I will send Ann photos, hopefully to post. This was great fun!!!!
This was alot of fun!
Lupe- the sun came out this afternoon & I got to go for a nice run. Finally:)
c
Dear Lupe:
I finally thought of something to ask. What is “malt” made from? Why do you think someone thought to put it in a chocolate shake in the first place? I mean, chocolate shakes are already heaven, so I don’t know why you’d mess with a good thing. Have you had a banana malt? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…so good.
Thanks.
Good night, Ann. Thanks again for turning over your blog to Lupe and all of us nosy, curious people. We have had a very interesting and educational day. It’s gratifying to be reminded that you are a person who does not always have to be the center of attention–even on your own blog! My hat is off to you, Mrs. Leary. Sleep tight. I know you worked hard today, reading and reviewing all the comments and questions prior to posting them on the “Ask Lupe” blog.
Hi Ann! I feel special getting the dog expert for my question!!
Dottie is a she, she’s 4 yrs old, is a pit bull/dalmation mix and is 65lbs. Most dogs she wants to play with. She LOVES to play and can be rough, she doesn’t realize how strong she is.
For some reason small floppy haired dogs make her go mental. She barks like crazy and tries to get at them. She doesn’t attack them but is intimidating enough to scare the poor little things.
Here’s the funny thing, if it’s a short haired little dog like a pug or dachsand she loves them. Its dogs like Yorkies, cocker spaniels, etc she hates.
Of course I love her no matter what. She is such a clown (I say this as she is crashed at the foot of my bed sharing at me with those “why aren’t you petting me” eyes!) and fun to be with. I just wish she played better with the smaller pups.
Hi Lupe, Ann, and all the Blog Ladies!
Fantastic dialogue and fascinating Q&A! How fun and terrific.
I am going to comment again, and apologies that I didn’t discourse during the day, I am an early morning blog reader and don’t often get back to it during the day.
First, thanks for the kind welcome, and a shout out to Alan!
Second, this is my mom’s steak marinade recipe that works with skirt steak and london broil. You just mix it all up, pour over the steaks (I often add a few sliced vidalia onions and then grill them with the steaks), let marinade over night (in a bowl or better yet, a big ziplock plastic bag) and then grill. Simple and delicious and really tenderizes the steaks (which you can poke all over with a fork to make holes for the marinade to sink into):
STEAK MARINADE
1/2 CUP OIL (preferably olive)
1/4 CUP SOY SAUCE
1/4 CUP HONEY
2 T ONION (if you use sliced onions, you can skip this)
1 CLOVE GARLIC
1/4 CUP SHERRY (you can use vermouth too, but it can get too sweet)
A few drops of Worcestershire Sauce
Kim, NY drag queens love anything that is fabulous or that they can appreciate as a good tip (hair products, make up, glitter stockings!) (ok, read, steal your ideas and lipstick color!). Having once attended Night of a Thousand Gowns (THE drag event of the year, and no, I was in a tuxedo as an escort to a 6 foot 6 empress!) these girls (boys) are very serious about their drag. I will warn you, however, if you look too good, you are going to get some serious attitude and bitchiness! (remember, part of it is a competition). Great shoes are always the best, and will be well appreciated (especially if you can manage sand in 6 inch stillettos!) Tube tops will get you mercilessly ridiculed! (unless it is fully sequined or bugle beaded)
Lupe, thanks for you answer, I agree. All of my loves were found at the bus stop, on a couch at New Year’s eve, across a crowded room, and once, a very special time and my first, on the Paris metro (we are still best friends after (gulp!) 22 years!)
Thanks Ann! Super fun.
Dottie sounds like a a character. I thought she might be small as many small dogs will pick on others their own size, but she’s a big girl. She might have a problem with the shaggier little ones because of their hairy faces. If a dog can’t see another dog’s eyes, they think the dog is weird and a little scarey. My larger dogs are always a little confused by smaller dogs, but would never want to hurt one. Those yprkies and spaniels can be very hyper and their energy might annoy dottie as well, Sorry, I can’t offer more!
LOL at the malt questions.
You sound like me when I am on a diet
So interesting about the facial fur. I wonder if that’s it. I use to think it was a male/female issue but that isn’t it.
She is a rescue dog so I’ll never know what happened to her the first year. All I can do is give her lots of love!!!
We haven’t read about your pups in awhile. May be time for some new stories!
I have to ask, John, are you Rocker Dude????? I know there are only a few men here, so if you aren’t, that would make 3 for sure.
Love your recipe, drag queen tips, & meeting love stories.
Lupe–I lost my only child, my son, and I have definately had threes I KNOW I felt his presence with me. You said it perfectly when you said something is out of sync and you don’t understand it.
John –
thanks so much for the steak marinade recipe AND the great “invasion” tips. I have been there many times before but not of late. One time I had just gotten off the boat with a crew of people when one individual with fruit on his head nearly took my platform shoes off my feet. We argued playfully how I am a size 7 and he was a size 10 so get over it already. Later that day we met up for “tea” at 3 and danced our asses off. That same day I was also introduced to Jason Streisand (yes – you heard me) – completely in drag from head to toe and no not as his mom. I am very much forward to going this year but only if it is a nice day. Its miserable there when the sun is not shining. Hopefully, photos can be presented if its ok with Ann. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry – I typed in error – His name is Jason Gould (after his dad and Babs’ son).
Hi Tracy, no, I am not rocker dude, so yes, there are at least three of us!
Thanks everyone for one of the most interesting and informative reads I have had in along time.And A BIG thanks to you Ann how thoughtfull of you to have spent your day posting are Q@A’s you ae the Queen Blogger.
This has been a really fun blog. I have picked up so many tips. I would like to weigh in on the the dog issue. It might also be the mix of dog you have and as you said, a rescue. (maybe the previous owner thought is was funny to chase squirrels and cats, which are like fluffy small dogs.) Unless trained at a young age, the Dalmatians I know do not like small dogs and are stubborn to train, but stay youthful their entire lives. A Pit personality is tenacious, smart, loving and rigorous in their training right from the start. And it just gets more intense the older they get. They think way too much. We have to spell words around our Pit mix. She can understand all kinds of sentences, learning more every day. Not good for us. Hobie is a nanosecond away from using a stick to get ants out of an anthill. She likes small dogs until they get yippy/aggressive, then growls and turns her back. One thing I have found to help both my Pit/lab/retriever and my brainless Ridgeback/lab are play dates. Goofy huh? Highly socializing them. That was advice given to me when I started to deal with rescues. Crazy, but boy has it worked with both dogs. Check out dog schools, dog walkers, trainers. We had a dog walker/trainer bring over different charges twice a week. She also knew their personalities and could break up conflicts. Hope this helps and thank you for adopting a rescue. And thank you Ann for have such an open forum blog. Pretty cool.
Candy, I’ve just read through previous comments of yours to see if you’ve shared that before. Oh, so, so sorry, Candy. I’m glad you feel his presence. xo
Ok John, so at least 3 men, cool! I love it. We women aren’t too overwhelming, are we? I bet you laugh a lot here, and learn a lot too, just like us.
Kim, your description of being accosted for your platform shoes is just too funny! It sounds like a blast. Where is this? A report & pics are definitely needed, though Ann & I are having major problems with my sending her pics from the Blogapalooza!!!! for the last few days. I think her email provider thinks I’m a spammer now, & I’m now trying 4 different email addresses, set up gmail & yahoo addresses & everything! argh
Kristin, too funny that you have to spell words around your dog. I love it.
Candy,
I am so sorry about your son. I’ve not had children and can’t possibly know the depth of your pain. I know he is with you. I believe it. I have lost a loved one and I have reason to believe he is around.
Annie M.
Hi all!
Did not have Net connect last evening! I am catching up now.
Farah and Michael gone…
Lupe,
Stupendous Job!!!!!!!! I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how anyone can pull it off but you did with style! You’re amazing.
Annie M.
Tracy: Off the coast of Long Island (NY)is Fire Island. The island has many towns or sections. VERY BEACHY. Some areas have total solitude while others are for partiers or people that rent or own homes there for the summer. Most of it is straight. Specifically, there are two sections that are gay. The “Pines” are a mix of straight and gay and I always remember it as being a bit uppity. Lots of celebrities hanging about. Cherry Grove is totally gay and a hilarious hoot. Always something going on. The island itself is breaktaking with dunes and your surrounded by water. Very very clean, great bars and restaurants. After spending a day or a weekend at the Grove, I am literally crying from laughter from the people I meet and see and I always wind up walking away with a few “new best friends”. I so love the characters we meet. Cherry Grove, Fire Island is NOTORIOUS – google and see.
Dear All:
Thank you for your compliments. I usually shy away from those, but this time, I am taking them!.
Was fun. I will complete the rest today.
You see, I decided to do my walk thing, and it was hot and muggy, but it is good to sweat out impurities… my medical book sez, so did that. Then I had no computer access (Internet),(something about the grid not covering that corner house?) so I settled to read one ebook about the invasion of Egypt by Bonaparte (what a character!!), written by a British author back then. Very interesting to me to see the interactions between?
The British
The French
And I almost read the 900 computer pages (they are shorter), and then my eyelids told me it was time to turn in.
I want to read some more!.
And this morning, after doing the normal stuff there is the news… about Michael. I mean, for somebody to be that talented, to have had access to so much, and to feel so miserable as to want out so bad… (not that I have insiders information, but when you are dealing with all’m painkillers – surgeries – the body knows not where to go and he did himself in. Want to bet?.
It appears that all of the child prodigy end up with more scars than they can handle. Maybe it is the allure of the stage, that ends up burning.
Change is rough on all. Change is needed. Some people cannot do it, cannot adjust.
Again, of all the things available to him! and he did not see the beauty, he felt no joy.
And Farrah… maybe she would have lived longer WITHOUT treatment. Again, that is my uneducated opinion. My older son works to explore cures for all the very many kinds of cancer. His company is supported by the FDA, I believe, as they realize (the medical field) that we do not know enough to deal with the disease. But they are working on it. For what I understand, they isolate the cancer cells of the different cancers from the different patients. They isolate the DNA as it TRANSFORMS itself as the disease progresses, and they map that DNA into a CHIP, like the one in our cars or on our computers…
They share that information with all of the people ‘in the know’. And by analyzing the DNA changes (or mutations), they narrow down what treatment worked for WHAT.
Is that neat or is that neat?.
So, I shall go work on some questions I did not get to as of yet.
And Ann? You are the neatest of them all!.
Lupe
Lake53:
The peoples I have met who were in transition from one gender to another, do not have it easy at all!. In San Francisco they are accepted, and they hang around with the folks that understand who they are. But they do not have it easy. It is difficult for them to find work, sometimes housing and mainly acceptance or understanding that some people are born with a body that expresses a gender, and a mind that thinks otherwise.
Candy:
Yes, losing a child is a very sad thing. I was still pregnant when I lost him, and it was a male. I choose to think that nature did its thing, because something was wrong somewhere. And I make up for it by ‘feeling’ his spirit. I think that is what it is. I compensate that way.
One time I took a trip back to Cedar Rapids, IA (where it happened) and drove around the town, and all of these tears came about…could not see the road even!!. Was my way to say goodbye I guess. But I became less saddened after that. As if I had completed the cycle of understanding something I had no control over. It was something!. In the plane back to California too!!.
Tracy:
There is nothing wrong with having ‘transparency’ in your emotions, according to me. I prefer people like that, versus the ones who appear as ‘still waters’ but have a turmoil inside. According to me. I rather know what I am dealing with, what I perceive as real.
Also, people who are not demonstrative end up with more internal organ problems, just because of that: they do not demonstrate their emotions – it is NOT that they do not have them – and it kind of goes on simmer…
Better to recycle stuff, emotions included, than holding it all in. I could not do it, anyway.
Holy Sh*t Kim! I thought you were in CA for some reason! This is something I could go to!!!! I know where Fire Island is, I’ve been to Jones Beach a few times, I have a friend in Pt Look Out! OMG, when is it, I want to go! Could we meet up? I would definitely have a blast w/ you from the sound of it. Pretty please!!!
It is sad that Michael Jackson went from such talent to such a freak. Very sad, unfortunately that’s all I can think of him as at this point. As for Farrah, I am sad, but after reading Tatum O’Neal’s book(who I adore, & have always felt a kinship w/ because we’re the same age), & knowing how she treated Tatum & her younger brother when they were young teenagers, I lost all respect for her. Oops, that’s probably something that I should have kept to myself, as Elizabeth and I discussed here last night, but it’s how I feel. I am sad that she had to suffer so much for so many years. No one should have to suffer like that.
Yes, I am also saddened to hear about Michael and Farrah. I don’t know Lupe, she “may” have lived a bit longer without treatment but I am quite sure she would have been in even more excruciating pain. I work with surgeons and from what I’m told it is horrifically painful. I’m sure she was morphined up in the end. Beautiful woman and young. Michael is also tragic but I really do think the toxicology reports will be quite telling.
Candy that is heart breaking about your son, I posted before how my friend lost her youngest to a terrible accident and its horrible just watching someone else go through it I cant imagine what you have gone through
Banana malt, made from?
This is what I found about the process
http://www.tapbrewpub.com/what_is%20malt.htm
Pretty much:
“Malt” is made by processing grain. Barley, is harvested and the grains are dried for up to a month. The dried grains are then soaked in water for two or three days in conditions that allow them to germinate. The germinating seeds are separated from the water and allowed to sprout and grow for a few days. This process of seed germination turns starches in the original grain into sugar. After a few days, the germination is stopped by placing the sprouts in a kiln where they are baked at high temperature for two days. After baking, the rootlets are removed and the remaining product, which does not look very different from the original grain, is called malt. The granules of malt have a crunchy, nutty texture and are used in cereals as well as for producing beer.
If you do not want to do the whole link.
And they added to foods to enhance palatability, make it more exotic, richer and? well, to satisfy epicurian palates. It also adds calories… sorry folks.
Bev:
What did the doctor say?
Did they take care of the spider bite?
I am not sure if I emailed you that I read somewhere that spraying WD40 on the nooks and crannies where spiders like to nest, stops the nesting, as WD40 contains silicone and it is sleepery and they cannot ‘glue’ their webs.. haha!
Candy, I am so sorry for your loss. I thank God every day for my kids. I cannot even imagine what you’ve been through. I think it’s beautiful that he’s still with you.
Hi Ann and Lupe,
On the spiritual comment for 15 years I have been a new age film maker. I can give you dozens of stories on ghosts and the paranormal that are true. For Ann’s blog this is a good one.
Mike Martineau who has written for Denis for RM and The Job is a good fellow writer friend of mine. The day I met him I kept seeing a restaurant in my head over and over. So I went there and said God what do you want me to do? I sat next to Mike and he was talking about Rescue Me. I picked my fav episodes then talked about The Job and how I loved BBQ episode. He said I wrote that you just told me my resume I am Mike Martineau. We laughed and have been friends ever since.
We both have been buddies in the ups and downs of life and we have had both. In Mike’s opinion my spec Rescue Me script he thinks is the best episode ever. I read his scripts first and vis versa. The long winded pt I was trying to make is God is always talking we just don’t listen.
Our friendship was needed in both of our lives and I am glad I listened that day.
Tracy: Holy Sh*t is right – where do you live? I am literally 3 minutes from Port Jefferson. Do you know where that is? You’ve never been to the Grove? Well, I better be seeing you there on the 4th. Of course we will hook up. You take the ferry or boat from Sayville. There is a ferry to the Pines and one to the Grove so you have to make sure you get on the right one. I’ll give you whatever details you need. You will be peeing in your pants from laughter and shock and at the same time feeling like your in Europe. I just think the place is so beautiful visually and I’ve been going since I was 15. DEFINITELY GIRLFRIEND – LETS HOOK UP.
Elizabeth and Tracy:
Something I have observed. Some people do not have the same energy level than we have, OR their adrenals are shot. If that is the case, it would be cruel to expect them to be so ‘lively’ as if to match our standards. For instance, there was a temperament imbalance between my ex and I. He was calm and collected and even keel (spelling). I have more up and downs than an earthquake read. For him, it was exhausting to keep up with my range of emotions; for me it was soffocating that there was no need to ‘talk’.
Why didn’t we figure this out at first?
The hell if I know.
And that. Sometimes people’s adrenals need catching up to do. There is one diagnosis, I think that Cher had it, and in her case was from all of that performing that she did while with her first husband. And her body shut down!.
See, this business of living takes a lot..
I need to apologize for my comments about Farrah earlier. It was a case of my living passionately, and the filter between my brain and mouth not working. I even followed it by saying I probably should have kept it to myself, and it still didn’t stop me. I can be very impulsive, and should have thought before clicking on post. I wish I could take it back.
I sincerely apologize to everyone on the blog and to Farrah, I feel horrible for posting it. Please forgive me for being so insensitive.
Holy Blogosphere!! 102 comments and counting! Ann and Lupe have created an entire life force, I think!
Lupe:
I didn’t mean to sound cruel in my comment to Tracy about people who are unable to express themselves openly. My apologies to anyone I have inadvertently offended. My intent was simply to make a comment about how emotional I can often be and how taciturn my husband usually is (unless he’s talking about guns or target shooting). And you’re right: It can be exhausting for him to endure my wide range of emotions and suffocating for me to accept his lack of conversation or emoting.
Candy:
My heart breaks for you on the death of your only child, your son. How long ago did this happen? Not that time heals wounds, but it can dampen the anguish. A young man who would have become my husband died of cancer when we were 20 years old. I still feel grief and loss 38 years later, but it is not as debilitating as it once was. My admiration for parents such as you and Lupe and others who have lost children knows no bounds. As I’ve written before, my son is the best thing I have ever helped produce and he is my everyday gift to the world. He is a police officer, so there are often times when a simple ringing of our telephone can cause my heart to clench. I know that any one can die at any moment, but living with the knowledge that my son’s beloved profession could take his life at any second is a continuous physical ache. People whose children are soldiers and firefighters live with this fear, too, as we are all aware. My deepest sympathies to you, Candy, and to you, Lupe, and to any one else here who has lost a child. There can be no more horrible or excruciating loss.
tracy dont feel bad for posting how you feel, how she was as a step parent or live in girlfriend has nothing to do with her suffering and her as an actress. there is nothing to apologise for.
Kristen- the traits you described are spot on. She really is a good dog. She just needs lots of exercise.
She does have play dates. Her best friends are a Husky and a Weimeramer (sp?). She can ran for hours with them and they are the dominant ones. She is on her back with all fours in the air in 2 seconds flat.
I have to spell words too! She knows many different phrases and even knows directions. She recognizes when we’re going to the play date. Once we get about a mile from my friends house she starts doing her circles (in the backseat you know how difficult that is!).
They make life so much fun. I really wish it wasn’t 96 outside right now in Chicago or I’d take her for a long walk around the lake. I never thought I’d say this but I can’t wait for it to rain tomorrow.
This has been so much fun. Thanks for opening up the forum Ann! I’ve learned lots of new tips these past couple of days.
Kim, actually I live in PA, but am only 2 hours from NYC, about 3 hours from Pt Lookout, depending on how bad the SI exp & the belt parkway are. I get into NYC @ least once a month, can’t get enough of it. I’m really excited, am going in tomorrow for the premiere of the documentary Afghan Star, including a Q&A w/ the director & producer. As long as I’m going in for that in the evening, I’m going to go & spend the day. A day in my favorite place, yippee!!!!
Anyway, I do know where Port Jefferson is. I wish I lived up that way somewhere. Never been to the Grove or FI. I would so love to do this. Will have to find a place to stay, my friend’s house is small. I usually stay @ a motel in Merrick, not the Ritz, but it’s clean, comfortable, & cheap(esp by LI standards!). I may have trouble though w/ it being the holiday weekend. Can you email me w/ the time, etc? Maybe I’ll leave early Sat am, stay over, & come back Sun. If I can’t get a room @ the motel in Merrick, do you have any suggestions for further out? My email is [email protected] I’ll call the motel now & see if I have any luck.
Oh I hope this works out, I’m really excited!!! I googled it, & it does look hilarious & really beautiful in a wild way.
Elizabeth, I don’t think you came across as cruel at all. You were merely stating how different you and your husband are. Please don’t berate yourself!
Lupe, thank you for your very insightful observations earlier & this afternoon. Isn’t it amazing how different people are?
Candy, somehow in all the posts here I missed your post. I am also sorry about your loss. I can’t begin to imagine how horrible it would be to lose a child. I’m sorry.
Lupe,
I love your posts. But how do you find the time? I think you are a seasoned mental health professional. In state hospitals you must deal with many serious ill patients who have fallen through the cracks of the mental health system.
FYI: Those with serious mental illnesses are far more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse than the average person. I met a teenage girl with schizophrenia who was sexually assaulted while wandering the streets dazed and confused due to auditory and visual hallucinations. Studies have shown they are no more prone to violence than the rest of the population.
Annie M.
Life is just sad sometimes…. thanks Lupe for being there and caring,,,sometimes we just reach out!
Thanks
Dear Ann, Just got home and have read all 108 blogs (at present) and what a wonderful treat to give myself. Thank you for putting this together, Ann, and Guadalupe, you truly are a special person!! I have always enjoyed your input but the variety of topics covered here generated such insight and responses. I feel like I have just visited with some wonderful friends! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Ann! These recipes here are making my mouth water, and it gave me an idea. Can we dedicate a day on the blog to a Recipe Exchange? Everyone can post their favorite recipe, and if someone is looking for something specific, maybe the ladies (and the three guys) might have it! What do you think?
Thank you Lupe, for the malt information. You have just confirmed for me that I have been making wise decisions all these years by just drinking chocolate SHAKES all the time, without the malt. Turns out I was cutting calories after all!
Angela, great idea. We’ll do it.
I have been very busy and just caught up this evening with all this wonderful sharing. WOW – you all are so amazing!
Has anyone suggested a Facebook Page for all of Ann’s bloggers? That way we could all keep up with one another and share pictures,thoughts, dreams etc.
Of course – this would be second only to the real deal!
Sandy, I actually have a facebook page set up for my book. It is here:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=31267821248&ref=ts
Everybody is welcome to join!
Thanks Ann for the link!
I see Ylenia is there too!
You’re the best – have a great weekend!
It has been in the 100′s here all week long, it is brutal! Can’t ride my horse when it is this hot
Stay cool!
LUPE,
WHAT MAKES YOU TICK? DOES ANYTHING IN LIFE REALLY SCARE YOU?
CHRISTINE
Dear Christine:
You just find the time somewhere. And I am scared of growing old and feeble and not knowing where it is at!.
While in San Francisco, attending school, I worked with the elderly. I had this 96 year old female, u-s-e-d to be a famous painter, and my job was to try and get her interested in drawing pidgeons, which for some reason, she related to.
She also would try and get on top of a chair, to get on top of the refrigerator, looking for her $3,000,000.00 that her dear old husband had left her(true). I would put 5 one dollar bill in her wallet,her ID, photos of her house, her cat, her husband and their car. Unsure if I told this story already… They would take her out for rides with the other folks into the City, and she had her wallet in per purse. She would lose her purse. One evening, the SFPD showed up at her room (this was an assisted living facility), and the nice cop returned her lost wallet… as there was ID in there.
She would say:
“Lucy, do you think that they should have a place YOU GO TO when you get lost”?.
I would answer: ” yes, that would be a great idea!”.
She would say:” Lucy, I do not remember my dear husband’s face, do you think that is bad”?
I would answer: ” well, do not worry about that, because what if he does not remember yours”?
That is what I am scared of.
I feel like I have been in class after reading all the posts, which incidently I just did as I finally had time to read them all uninterrupted….
My brain is still trying to absorb all the information and its great to getting to see everyone’s personality flourish and open up…
All the questions were great and Lupe, your answers are fantastic…
Some of the questions & answers made me laugh, and the answer about the “hormonal thing” hilarious ( I am going out on a limb here) because I have always thought of myself as pretty level headed but in January I had knee surgery and ever since then, I swear its thrown my body into complete chaos, seems I have hot flashes at least 5 x a day, more emotional, yada, yada….
I am hoping this passes soon, people as always saying “This is the best time of your life, the golden years ( I am 51)”
I have not found the golden part yet but will let you know when I do…
Thank you, Lupe and Ann…:)