I'll be fine, really
At our last monthly Ambulance Association meeting, Bernie, our EMS chief, announced that flu shots were available to those members of the crew who wanted them. Apparently, EMTs are eligible for free flu shots or something. Actually, I’m not entirely sure what Bernie said about the shots because I felt that it was important to inform those around me that I’ve never had a flu shot. ”I’ve never had the shot and I never get the flu,” I whispered to K, who was seated to my right. (I’ll protect the privacy of all EMTs in this story except Bernie). K whispered back, “Me neither. I don’t think I’ve ever had the flu in my life.” Then M, on my left, offered, “I’ve never had the shot either. I never really get sick.”
Now that K and M had met my health brag, I felt compelled to up the ante and brazenly murmured, ”I’m NEVER sick. Ever. Don’t know why, I just never seem to catch the stuff that’s going around, not even colds.” K and M both mumbled their similar exemplary health reports and then, satisfied that there was nowhere to go from here, short of stating the obvious – that we were clearly made of exceptional stuff – the three of us sat back and drew the air into our robust respiratory systems and then we exhaled collectively into the room full of all the weak flu-prone people. The people who must have shots to support their feeble immune systems, who, probably, despite the shots, were still laid up for many weeks each winter with this virus or that, while we kissed our sick spouses and rarely washed our hands and scoffed at use-by dates on dairy products and STILL never got sick . Bernie was droning on about some kind of regulation or another but we were mentally reviewing our bright, shining vital stats; our low blood-pressures and cholesterol levels, our steady heart rates, our boundless energy that belied our advancing ages (I feel comfortable assuming and sharing K and M’s thoughts, I don’t think they’d mind).
“I don’t even take vitamins,” I chirped, just as the meeting was drawing to a close. M laughed and shook his head when he heard the word vitamins. ”I wouldn’t even know where to buy them,” scoffed he, before springing to his feet and stepping sprightly off. ”I only took them while I was pregnant,” said K. ”With the twins,” she added. Unfortunately, she left before I could top her twin pregnancy with the results of my recent bone-density screening (I have the bones of a 30-year-old 20-year-old toddler, if you were wondering).
Oh, would that I could go back to those days of health and vitality and innocence.
People, I am sick. Lord knows, I’m not one to complain, but it occurred to me that some of you might not follow me on Facebook or on Twitter, and so you might not know the extent of my suffering during the past week. I have been sick with a fever/congestion/sore throat/cough thing that, once I became afflicted with it, forced me to recall how many other times I have had it. I was this sick last fall and again in the winter. And the fall and winter before that, and the one before that. I get viruses all the time. I’m a sickie.
But I’m on the mend, so no need for prayers and gift baskets.
Really, I was exaggerating before. I don’t get sick every year. I’m really almost never sick.
Yup. Gets ‘em every time! Hope you feel better.
You are too funny!!!!!!!!!! Made me LOL
Wishing you a quick recovery, got a giggle out of that post!
Sorry you’re under the weather, Ann. Feel better soon!
Ok Ann, I’ll put a hold on those prayers, put away the holy anointing oil and hang up the vestments!! But God bless ya!
Thank you dear Reverend Peters
Ann,
Hope you feel better…I just got my flu shot….while I was sick..lol!
Sounds like the flu. Feel better, Ann.
This very funny video link is via @lynn_zack on Twitter:
http://youtu.be/VbmbMSrsZVQ
Ha!
So funny! (Poor little bunny…)
Bernie says: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.. ps – dont cough on me.
Amen Bernie. As a family we get flu shots. When we don’t, we get sick. I swear that it actually wards off other things too. I mean, really, what is in that vial-we don’t want to know. Can’t be any worse than a sudafed, nyquil and motrin cocktail.
Hope you feel better, but you are extremely funny when you are sick. lolol Then run and get the shot. It’s not too late.
Is it wrong to laugh at your misery? Funny post! Hope you continue to feel better.
Prayers are always good, for anything and everything. It sucks to be sick. Your body says slow down, and chill awhile… Bet your pups are keeping you warm and cozy too. I remember when I was a young one, my Mom’s fix for everything was slathering Vicks vaporub all over my chest and putting a scarf around my neck so I would inhale the fumes all day. I don’t think I have ever bought that product as an adult! Feel better soon and snuggle in with the pups
So sorry you’re sick, but that is hilarious! I need to get my flu shot (yes, I am one of those sickies who gets a shot and still gets the flu once every 5 years).
Bernie must be one of those cool guys who gets a flu shot. High five, Bernie.
Feel better, Ann!
I don’t even want to comment or stay on your blog for one more minute. I might catch it.
Very wise Helena. I just sneezed all over my keyboard.
feel better Ann, But yes bloody hilarious! I started getting flu shots 3 years ago, never had a a cold or flu since HONEST…….
Sorry to hear your sick. Get better soon. Your stories always make me smile! p.s. got my flu shot yesterday
This must be the italian flu! You must have caught it while on Vaca….
Get well soon and I have to comment I love the picture you posted with this. You always find the best pictures to post to accompany your stories and poems. I always get a flu shot every year and never get the flu, just putting it out there.
Thanks Candy, I was quite pleased when I found this one, I have to say.
So sorry to hear you are sick and feelin’ like crap. Get better real soon. I have gotten a flu shot for many years, and have taken vitamins for many years. I rarely get sick with colds and such. Sure hate it when I do, tho.
Get well, soon, Ann. I am not one to get flu shots, but you have me thinking twice about that. If you’re like me, you picked up something on the plane. I get sick every time I fly. Every time!
Sorry you are sick, but loved laughing out loud reading your post! I always boycott flu shots, but last year my doctor, (who is a friend), would not let me leave his office until he had jabbed me. I was hoping I would catch the flu just to say I told you do but no such luck. Maybe flu shots do work after all….
Hope you didn’t kiss Zidane! SNORT! Stay warm & memorize your dressage tests for next season. Chicken soup. Really.
Just so you all know; Weatherbug has a Flu map. Really.
I’m afraid to look at it. I have a feeling the eye of the flu is right over my house.
lolololololol……
Stupid flu. Take good care of yourself, because this is a tenacious one. I happen to know from recent experience.
Feel better, Ann, and eat your vitamins!!
Sorry you’re under the weather. I’m sure your four sweethearts (or at least 3 of them)are snuggling in bed with you while you recover.
Speaking of which – when you’re feling better, can you post some videos of all 4 dogs. We haven’t seen those silly faces in quite awhile.
Would also love to see Mark and hear how he’s dealing with the new man in your life.
Linda S.
hilarous post. seriously, one of the best ever. ‘robust respiratory systems.’ classic!
Well I was going to brag about how I never get sick and that people actually come from miles away just for me to lay hands on them because I’m so immune. But hearing your (very funny) account, I think I’ll keep my pie hole shut and head to CVS for a flu shot!
Like everyone else, I’m sorry to hear you are feeling rotten, but WOW you are funny. Your sense of humor always seems to transcend all. Thanks for the laugh.
Thanks Catherine! And did I hear it’s your birthday today? Happy birthday, hope you’ve had a great one!
Yes, it is indeed my birthday. Thanks Ann!
Happy birthday, have a great evening.
Happy Birthday, Catherine. Hope you had cake!
Happy birthday Catherine!
So sorry to hear you’ve succumbed to the dreaded flu. I’m with Bernie on the flu shot recommendation, mostly after bad experience missing it.
Hope your furry darlings are cuddling with you attentively and willing you quickly back to health. Seems like a good sign that your sense of humor is holding on despite the misery. Take good care!
Feel better! Drink PLENTY of liquids and eat plenty of chicken soup. Chicken soup always helps when my family and I are sick with colds!
So did you get the flu shot?
hi all: I am NO expert, but I do work in public health and I want to chime in with a comment: please don’t get the flu shot if you’re sick. They ask you about this when you get the shot, and there are good reasons why people should wait and get better first.
I just am finishing up a nasty 3-week viral thing that is going around, and had to postpone getting my shot until I was better.
And, not just chicken soup! Hot Thai soup is good; good chinese soup; anything with a broth that is hot helps! And if you can get a soup where you can taste it, that’s all the better. I love hot Thai soup when I’m sick.
Andrea, my favorite thing when I have a cold is Hot & Sour Soup from any Chinese restaurant.
What’s the point of getting the flu shot AFTER being sick? I know there are different viral strains, but I can’t bear to get a shot that will make me feel lousy again. I know so many people who felt sick after the shot.
When my husband and I got our flu shots a few weeks ago, my husband was sick with chills and fever that night. He was better the next day. He always gets sick from the flu shot. Our son, the doctor, says that if he got sick with the real flu, he would be a lot sicker and for a much longer period of time, so we need to get our flu shots. He also says that getting your flu shot helps to protect other members of the population.
Hot & Sour Soup STAT! Hope you feel much better real soon
Hi: glad to hear the hot and sour soup is a comfort when you’re sick. And Linda, I appreciate and agree with your son’s viewpoint. The slogan here at the U of Minnesota’s flu clinic is “Protect the herd” and they have a good cartoon drawing of a cow. I know there are many viewpoints out
there about these shots, but my personal viewpoint is
that it is part of my responsibility to protect others,
even if it’s slightly inconvenient for me.
I love how all the commenters here have more faith in your dogs to take care of you than your husband. That’s just awesome.
Marybeth,
Isn’t that true for everyone? I get sick and my husband runs away, but my doggies turn into Florence Nightingale.
Dear Ann,
Hope you are feeling better soon. I am also one of the regular shot people and have never gotten the flu–even the year I was having chemo and went to work every day. Among middle schoolers, no less ( and those kids are just so very careful with their hygiene, lol). Take care and be well.
And Kristin–it’s fall mathlete time!! The finals of the competition are tomorrow night–I’ll keep you posted……
Good luck Barbara!
Yea Barbara’s team. Go Mathletes Go.
Flu…and crashed. Right, brothers? (And sisters?)
The one year in recent memory that I didn’t get my annual flu shot I was sick as a dog. It was ruff.
Get well soon, Ann.
Oh brother!
Oh Alan……..that was good !!!!!!! I LOVE how your brain works !!!
Newsflash: you don’t even have to get a shot to get the flu vaccine, anymore! It comes in a liquid or gel form that you take intra-nasally. All you have to do is close one nostril and inhale – easy peasy. Which means my husband-of-needle-phobia will finally get the vaccine this year.
Hope you feel better, Ann. About half-way through your post I was actually starting to feel quite defective and weak with the crowd of vital voices proclaiming such grand immunity. The thought even crossed my mind, Well, dangit, it’s not *my* fault I have a compromised immune system . . . is it?
Just goes to show how reading a powerful narrative voice can cause one to feel a bit defensive, even when said voice turns out to be slightly more James Frey than Joan Didion in its claims. *grin*
My other hot tip is Airborn. Start taking it two weeks before any trip, and continue two weeks after returning home. You probably got this nasty bug from your flight home ;(
Anne, I was shopping yesterday and guess what I saw. Honeycrisp apples. I had never heard of them before until I read you blog about them a few weeks back. Of course, I had to buy some, and they are delicious. Thank you!
Love, love Honeycrisp.
I too discovered honeycrisp on Mrs Leary’s recommendation. I went out and bought several pounds to make a pie. Then I wondered if they are good baking apples- anyone know?
SO love this post! “The three of us sat back and drew the air into our robust respiratory systems and then we exhaled collectively into the room full of all the weak flu-prone people” …”unfortunately, she left before I could top her twin pregnancy with the results of my recent bone-density screening”… too funny! And yes, the illustration — so perfect. Hilarious.
Hope you’re feeling better!
Too funny Ann, Now Bernie knows that we were not paying attention to him.
I’m late to the party. Hilarious post!
Late or not, it’s always nice to see you!
Sorry to hear you are feeling like doodoo! As a nurse of 37+ years I have learned to not use the following words…as they seems to invite disaster. The word never–when used invokes the spirit of “never until now”…which then becomes “always”
And the word “quiet” when coming on shift with your EMT crew…as this invokes the spirit “all hell breaking loose” Stay warm, hope you are feeling better soon.
A tree fell on my car as I was driving home in the storm yesterday, arrived home to find a tree had fallen on and destroyed generator and then, after a long cold night, I awoke to find my driveway was blocked by fallen trees. Just got out thanks to a friend with a chainsaw. Am typing this in the one hotspot on our town. Hope you all survived the storm if you’re in the northeast. Just learned we shouldn’t expect power in less than a week.
ugh!! sorry to read all that – hoping the horses are all okay. packing up the troops and heading to nyc?
Such a nightmare. I’m reading about all the power outages in CT right now. They are definitely saying it will be a week before power is restored. With temps below freezing, this is just terrible for the elderly. This has been a crazy weather year.
My gosh Ann, this sounds so scary!
Oh no! I hope you,your family,your pets and neighbors are ok
Wow, scary stuff! Hunker down everyone and stay safe! Or come out to Calif. and bunk at my house. I’ll stock up on wine boxes and straws!
Glad you and your family are OK,, Power is out in some places as long as until Thanksgiving.
Oh Ann, I am so sorry about what has happened to you. We’re going to have to start calling you Pauline. I have been thinking about you and the animals and wondering if you were affected by the storm. Never expected to hear such awful news. I send you warm and loving thoughts and hope you and the animals stay ok, and this mess gets cleaned up PDQ.
Oh No! So sorry to hear about your experiences in the storm. We ended up with a 140′ fir tree onto/into the house 15 years ago so can relate to those inconveniences; but Holy Smokes! having a tree fall on your car as you’re driving home – that’s SCARY. Take care – will be thinking warm thoughts your way.
So sorry to hear this, Ann. I hope you, Denis and the animals stay okay through this period. We’ll be thinking of you.
P.S. Plus, if you had anything like I had, you’re still getting over the nasty bug you had. Mine was 3 weeks long, so I hope you have lots and LOTS of blankets to get under. Phooey, I am sorry for everyone that is dealing with this. Mother Nature is a bear (I’m being nice) sometimes.
Ann – thank goodness you are okay. Pretty scary stuff with all that wind damage. I live in PA and we had two neighbors that had quite large maple trees go down. They are ok but one of my friends has a friend that died due to a tree falling on his car. Stay kaput with lots of warm vibration sent your way.
ann, Just catching up—so glad you’re okay! Hang in there and all my best to you both!
Very scary goings on, indeed
Hope things are getting back to normal over there and that all of you–both the furry and the flesh-bound–are recovering. Here’s to friends with chainsaws!
We lost power late Saturday night and it came back on yesterday, so we are VERY fortunate. The nights have been cold, but the days have been warm and sunny. I’m hoping the good weather will help the crews that are working on restoring power to get things done quicker. With Irene we lost power for 5 days, I am very surprised we got it back after this storm in only 3 days.
Hope everyone is well. All the schools in my area are open to provide people with food and shelter. It is so odd that the schools had to be used only 8 weeks apart; Irene and now this snowstorm in October. It is so crazy. Halloween had to be cancelled and my trees still have so many leaves on them.
I hope your feeling better now. What ever you do, just make sure its not Lyme Disease. While I’m a machine myself when it comes resisting the flu and colds, Lyme Disease is a whole different story all together. Whenever a loved one has the slightest of ill health complaints I project that its Lyme Disease. Its been five years since I was diagnosed and I’m still shell shocked! Just make sure you joints don’t hurt, your vision is reliable and your cognition is clear(based on your writing talents I’d say your cognition is spot on).
That is it for my drive by analysis. Feel better soon Ann.
It HAS been messy around here. Our generatoror won’t work so we’re collecting snow melt from the roof to water the horses and flush toilets. We had to work two whole days to clear the driveway well enough to walk out. Power lines are another–ugly–story. Wood stove works though, so we are warm….lucky in that way! Soup’s on.
There have also been volunteers clearing downed trees from rds since there’s inadequate official work force for the size of the mess.