I used to have satellite radio in my car, but the subscription ran out almost a year ago, and I never bothered getting it renewed. I like to listen to playlists of music in my car, especially when I’m working on a book, so I didn’t really miss all the radio talk shows at first. I was no longer able to listen to NPR, BBC Radio and CSPAN and I don’t watch the news on TV very often, so before long, the only information I was receiving about the world was from The Daily Show and the Colbert Report and on Twitter and gosh, the news was funny! I have spent the past year viewing candidates, politics and even wars with an attitude of rather bemused indifference, which is, I know, the American way, and I was a happy person.
Last week, before a drive to Marblehead, Massachusetts to visit my mother and sister, I decided to renew my satellite subscription and on the 4-hour drive I heard numerous interviews with authors, political pundits and scientists and I arrived in Marblehead just brimming with knowledge. At a dinner party, I was able to discuss Mitt Romney’s experience as a Massachusetts governor with people who actually live in Massachusetts. I knew the latest on the Bain Capital situation and discussed three different best-selling new books about history and politics as if I had read them cover-to-cover. Interested in learning more about genetic pioneering, performance art or sustainable farming? Ask me. My brain seemed to have expanded on that interstate drive and when it was time to return to Connecticut, I thought it likely that a recruiter for the CIA or NASA or maybe some think-tank or another would be waiting for me at my house, having somehow learned of my newfound genius. I listened to talk-radio the whole way back and then I listened to it for the entire week, but somewhere along the line, I went from an instant egghead/blowhard, to a jittering, cowering paranoiac. People, the world is f%$&ud up!
Did you know that Antarctica is melting at an even more alarming rate than was previously thought and that in areas that were once frozen, there are now spongey boggy masses of land? And do you know what is thawing there? Microbes. Microbes that our environment has not been exposed to in millions of years. Prehistoric bacteria – perhaps dinosaur waste (I just made up the dinosaur waste part, but I think it makes sense) and other germs that our bodies will not have sufficient immunities to fight against? Did you know that if you listen to satellite news, especially non-American news stations that actually report on other parts of the globe such as Syria and Iran, you will hear the term “a potential World War III” situation, on average, every 15 minutes?
Cancer clusters, disease, drought, violence, animal cruelty, pedophile priests, warlords, starving children – this is the stuff of our world! And the worst part of it is that, because of the hilly terrain in this part of Connecticut, the satellite service cuts in and out, always, at the most crucial part of a story. I will be hearing the words: The single most important thing any person can do to avoid cancer is (dead silence for 90 seconds). Nothing else really matters, as far as prevention goes, but (dead silence for 60 seconds) Then Bob Edwards is thanking the guest and signing off. Or a news report comes across as follows: President Obama stopped at a diner in Ohio yesterday and joined other patrons in eating (silence, silence, silence) his birth certificate. These truncated reports can be terrifying – yesterday it sounded like there was a mass-slaying at a Batman movie, I just couldn’t make out exactly what it was that they were saying because I now drive wearing body armor, helmet and a surgical mask and it’s hard to hear.
Last night, I locked all our doors and turned my EMS radio to the scan setting, so that I could be ready when …. well, something… happened. Because something bad is going to happen! I don’t know what it is, but it’s bad. I’ll fill you in later, I’m about to go for a drive.
Thanks, Ann! Having a good chuckle as I just heard about the thawing Antarctic microbes during an interstate road trip yesterday! Horrors! Americans consume 34GB of content and 100,000 words a day, when is it enough?
Oh yes, oh yes. I vacillate between being on top of the news and seeking places to bury my head in the sand. I was breathless after reading this blog because I felt the adrenaline rushing through the wires to me.
For this morning, my advice is to counter the news adrenaline rushes by sitting and calmly petting your wonderful dogs until they are blissful and you are filled with endorphins. If that doesn’t do it, go hug a horse.
Lol doom and gloom overload! This is why I quit reading the paper and especially don’t watch the local news. As I write this my husband is reading every word of the morning paper. My nickname for him… Yep doom and gloom. Now I feel the need to go stock up on water, canned food and duct tape for the windows!
Childhood is the best of all seasons. I was totally unaware of what was going on in the world as a kid and life was good!
Hi Ann,
I am looking forward to your next book. I enjoy your blog, but was so happy to see Denis on various talk shows re: appearance in Spiderman and stating that the best thing that ever happened to him was you and the kids. That makes my heart sing! BTW, you were my BEST assistant! Wishing you well. xoxo, lois
Thanks Lois!
AWESOME post, Ann!!! You nailed another one!!
I call that “negative booh” and have chosen the bliss route, it’s much better that way.
Ann,
Nice to have you back, I really missed your posts and all the blog buddies adding their 2 cents in. I am a news junkie, I must have my news fix several time a day even though it is so despressing much of the time. I had an actual news withdrwal on a crusie ship out in the middle of the ocean. My friends were making fun of me the whole time. Don’t stay away so long….
Thanks Candy! I have been quite busy and when I sit down to blog, I’ve gotten into this sort of idea that I don’t have much to report. I think I need to take more pictures, but my camera is missing. But it’s nice to know I’m missed and I’ll get back into the daily blogging habit
You are missed xox
I’m with Candy and Mary, miss the days when you blogged frequently and there was the usual group that commented.
We aren’t fussy about what you have to say, even a few words would be fine.
I thought of something very, very, funny to blog about last night before I fell asleep, but now I have no recollection of what it was. DAMN. It was funny, whatever it was.
See, this is the problem.
Every day I read something that affirms my belief that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Very scary. I listen just to the highlights, otherwise I would fall into a state of despair and lose my optimistic disposition. Life is too short to live in constant pessimism, don’t you think?
I do not read the newspaper anymore. They just pile up in our house. My huband does, when he has the time. Then off to the recycle bin they go. I do listen to public radio when I am in my car, which, I think, does deliver the news in a less sensational way. Love the “bird notes” segments which help me to identify some of the birds on our property. I consider it a soft news station. That is about all I can take.
I avoid the news as if it were contagious, because, well, it kind of is. I only hear bits and pieces when I walk through the room where my husband (who is a devoted news junkie) is watching. But I don’t hear very well, and I’m more than a smidge deficit w/my attention. Which might explain why, last weekend, I thought a news reporter was explaining that Obama used to be into Scientology. I stopped and went closer to the TV, then turned and asked Gary if I’d heard correctly. “No,” he told me. “She said to stay tuned for more about Obama’s new BIOGRAPHY.” Too bad, really. That would’ve been a story worth hanging around for
Glad to see a post from you, Ann; you always make me laugh. Laughing, I’m pretty sure, is the best way to cope with/stave off cancer clusters, disease, drought, violence and news of that sad-sour ilk.
How funny re the Obama story, Denise!!
“… when it was time to return to Connecticut, I thought it likely that a recruiter for the CIA or NASA or maybe some think-tank or another would be waiting for me at my house, having somehow learned of my newfound genius.”
Oh Ann, really love this post, SO funny!! And I can sorta relate, like in those rare times when I’m momentarily all read up on the latest New Yorker or the Atlantic or whatever (after my typically long, arid spells of paying ridiculously little attention to what’s going on in the world).
Btw the global-warming thing, the melting-Arctic thing, that’s quite truly sobering. Fascinating and troubling to read about how petroleum industry etc. have backed big-money campaigns to swing public opinion into doubting the overwhelming scientific data. (Excellent article on all this in the June 2012 issue of Popular Science magazine.)
I am pleased to hear that you renewed something associated with your car.
Hahaha. I finally got the registration renewed as well. It took two months
I would have posted a comment much sooner, but after reading this latest entry, I spent several days cowering in my basement. I’m better now….
Ann, somehow you manage to make even mayhem, pestilence, and bad radio reception seem funny. That’s why I stick around.
Awwww. Thanks Alan.
I ,too, have retreated from the politically informed. There’s something about this election that makes previously educated, informed and seemingly aware folks want to put their head in the ostrich position.
I am afraid to even label the cause of such an affliction but I know it is wide spread .
So I’ve taken to reading history. Marie Antoinette and Nicolas and Anastatia and wo and begorrah, turns out that 1% nonsense leads to revolution!
Hi, Nice post thanks for sharing. Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back.
Thanks!
Randy
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