TURNING 50 IS REALLY NO BIG DEAL BECAUSE:
A) Nobody cares about 50-year-olds
B) I know this to be a fact, because I keep telling people and
C) They don’t care
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SOUNDS LONGER?
A) 50 Years
B) 5 short decades
C) Half a century
D) Two score and ten years
E) Pre-dotage
F) Post-prime
SOME OF US ARE ABLE TO AGE GRACEFULLY, AND WE ARE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT OUR FADING LOOKS. THIS IS BECAUSE WE ARE:
A) Concerned with larger things, like world peace and the environment
B) Confident that people see who we really are – inside – and then are so horrified that they can’t look at our faces
C) Almost blind and when we look in the mirror we see a blurry image that we suppose looks like the one we saw two decades ago
THE UPSIDE OF GETTING OLDER IS:
A) You have the whole diaper thing to look forward to. It’s supposed to make you feel incredibly young
B) You get to talk about what a relief it is to be finally taken seriously for your mind, rather than your body
C) Which gives the impression that you used to have a great body
D) And have a mind that still functions
YOU’RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU:
A) Smell
B) Limp
c) Feel
WHEN MEETING A 50-YEAR-OLD ON THE STREET, IT IS BEST TO:
A) Offer her your arm
B) Compliment her on her whiskers
C) Palpate her abdomen for tumors
D) All of the Above
So funny
This reminds me of that you tube video you posted of memories someday I will have to dig through your site and find that link. If I can remember
Oh that was great. The Billy Collins poem. I’ll post it tomorrow.
50 is the new 30
Any one who can paddle a surf board is not 50.
Thanks I needed this…..just turned 50 last week. My husband had a party for me down the shore. 30 people and a stripper on a Tuesday afternoon….not bad
Happy Birthday, Enjoy!!!
Happy Birthday Ann! I agree with Lori, 50 is the new 30!
Happy Birthday Ann! I’m new blood to your blog. I sent you a “fan email”- not sure if you got it but, if not, I just wanted to say I love the blog and the laughs it gives me. I hope to be as driven and active as you when I’m 50. I hope your year Is filled with blessings both big and small.
Thanks Julie, and welcome. I haven’t been able to access my blog email for the past couple of weeks. Sorry to anyone who has tried to email me. Not sure what is wrong but will try to sort it out this week.
I think you look pretty freakin fabulous, and I hope I look that good at 50!!
Thanks Marianne!
Ann, don’t let anyone fool you. 50 is the new 70. Trust me. I know. And if you don’t believe me, ask your bladder.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
ais, apparently 47 is the new 70, too!
Ha!
ain’t it the truth
As Joan Rivers says, when asked about her age, “Somewhere between 40 and death.”
I wish I looked like you do when I was 50. You sure do fabulous with your fifty, Ann. Have a great birthday! What’s the special present? Has to be a special gift for this one, don’t you think?
Aw, thanks Linda. My actual birthday is on Tuesday, so no presents yet.
Don’t focus on the number, focus on the day and remember to celebrate incredible YOU!!!
Happy birthday, Ann. Being in your fifties isn’t so bad. Honest!
Thanks guys!
Congratulations, Ann, and welcome to the club. We’re glad that you could join us.
Most disconcerting to me about turning 50 was receiving an AARP membership form in the mail on my birthday that year. Yikes!
You and Holly look fabulous! Have a wonderful 50th, Dear Ann!
Happy Birthday Ann! I think most people think that when they turn 50 they have to start living their lives differently. But look at you! You are amazing! Happy 50th and don’t change a thing about yourself.
Hahaha. Happy birthday, Ann!
Maybe approaching 50 is what enabled you to write a NOVEL–and start a second one. Go, girl!!
Dont you have to start wearing red hats now? It’s like a modern-day scarlett letter!
My birthday was also this week and it wasn’t as bad as I thought (skipping town helped enormously!) I was a little slow on the uptake and it wasn’t until about May and many birthday parties later that I finally realized that all my childhood and college friends were turning 50, too. For once it wasn’t all about me, but I’m not willing to give into the AARP quite yet.
Happy birthday!
Hahaha! so funny!
Have a great Birthday Ann! You are one stunning looking 50 year year old!
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day and an even better year ahead!
hilarious!
is joining the circus part of the two score and ten years plan? looks like you’re practicing to be a tightrope walker in the bottom picture.
Happy 50th Birthday tomorrow. You look fabulous for any age!!!
Ann,
Happy b-day, and you look fab. I am turning 53 next week and think I look better than ever. To everyone on the blog: Moses Pendelton is featured in the Fall issue of Country Gardens, they did a nice story about his farm and sunflowers.
Happy Birthday Week! My great-aunt, who lived to be 92, had the best advice: “Keep walking and have a hi-ball on Sunday!” You look Maaaavelous!
I’m all over that hi-ball on Sunday thing!
Oh great. I’m already having issues turning 40 in a month. Now you’re telling me I’m going to have more issues to deal with when I turn 50?
Happy Birthday Ann!
(and to those that mentioned getting a AARP membership… I received my first (!) request one when I turned 30!)