I just finished an email conversation with a very good friend who was one of the first people on the scene at the Sandy Hook shooting on Friday. Sandy Hook, in Newtown, is just a few miles down the road from our town and three 1st responders from my ambulance crew were there. When my friend first entered the building, he was with another friend who is a State Trooper. They didn’t even know that it was a shooting scene. They had no idea what they were about to witness. Now, sadly, we all know what they found.
I have been following all the media accounts of the tragedy, as it has been hard to look away. I think the story that struck me the most, was the account of Kaitlin Roig, a first-grade teacher who locked herself and her small students in a bathroom and then tried to soothe them as she heard shooting and screaming over the intercom. While the children said things like , “I just want to see my mommy,” “I just want to have Christmas,” she said comforting things, but most importantly, she said these words: “I need you to know that I love you all very much…I’m so glad that I’m your teacher.”
I imagine that this young teacher has been exasperated with these little students many times. I’m sure there were also many times that she was proud of them, but I wonder if she ever felt, before, the need to tell them she loved them. She said that she wanted to stand in for their parents at that time and say to them what she thought their parents would have wanted to be able to say. As a teacher of small children, she knows what it is to be a substitute parent. But she also expressed a “need” of her own. A need to tell them she loved them. This is a need that we all have, but rarely express or even allow ourselves to feel – our need to connect on a spiritual level with those around us. Our need to feel part of a community. Our need to love and to be loved. What an example this young teacher has set for me. We don’t know what lies ahead and which moment will be our last, so why not tell those around us how much we love them. And how glad we are that they are in our lives. I love all you blog readers, though I have met very few of you and I’m so glad to have connected with you here over the past few years.
A few people have asked me if I know of any relief funds that have been set up and I found this list on Huffington Post.
Sandy Hook School Support Fund
United Way, a global nonprofit that works to improve families and individuals’ education, income stability and health, has set up the Sandy Hook School Support Fund through its Western Connecticut chapter. The fund will provide support services to the families that have been affected by the mass shooting. Donations can be mailed to: Sandy Hook School Support Fund c/o Newtown Savings Bank 39 Main Street, Newtown CT 06470 or submitted online here.
Danbury Hospital
Danbury hospital has partnered with other local counseling and mental health agencies within the community and is providing crisis intervention services 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Find out how you can contribute here.
Friends of the Engel Family Fund
Olivia Engel, 6, was shot and killed during the tragic Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. To help the family of the little girl who longtime family friend, Dan Merton, said “had perfect manners” and was the “teacher’s pet, the line leader,” supporters have set up the Friends of the Engel Family Fund. Find out how you can donate here.
Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund
A former Sandy Hook student has set up the Sandy Hook Elementary School Victims Relief Fund in conjunction with Crowdrise, to raise funds for the victims, families and others affected by the tragic shooting. Donations will be directed to the Sandy Hook PTSA, according to the fundraising site. Find out how you can get involved here.
Newtown Memorial Fund
The Newtown Memorial Fund aims to help victims’ families pay for funeral costs, set up a community-wide memorial and a college scholarship fund for the students of the Newtown Public Schools. Find out how you can get involved here.
Emilie Parker Memorial Fund
Emilie Parker, 6, was one of 26 victims killed on Friday in the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. To support Emilie’s parents, Robbie and Alissa, in paying for medical expenses, arranging for a funeral in Utah and taking off from work to spend time with family, friends and relatives have set up the Emilie Parker Memorial Fund. To donate via PayPal, use the email [email protected]
Newtown Youth and Family Services
Newtown Youth & Family Services, Inc., a nonprofit mental health clinic, will be open Saturday and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. for emergency counseling for families, community members or staff involved in the Sandy Hook
Elementary school tragedy. All donations made to the organization will benefit those affected. Find out how you can help here.
Newtown Parent Connection
The Newtown Parent Connection, a nonprofit that addresses issues of substance abuse, also offers bereavement group counseling on the first Wednesday of every month. The organization told The Huffington Post that it’s going to try to bring in additional counselors to accommodate the needs of those affected by the Sandy Hook shooting. Find out how you can help here.
Project Linus
Project Linus, a nonprofit that brings comfort to children in crisis, has arranged to send more than 700 warm, cozy handmade blankets to children affected by this latest shooting, according to an email sent to The Huffington Post. Find out how you can get involved here.
The American Red Cross
The American Red Cross of Connecticut provided more than 50 units of blood platelets and plasma to the Danbury Hospital, where some of the victims were transported, spokesperson Melanie Pipkin told the Huffington Post. The aid organization has also distributed food and water to first responders and is setting up a family reception center that will provide initial grief counseling. The aid organization is not seeking blood donations at this time and is asking supporters to reach out to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund. Find out how you can get involved here.
Support Family of Noah Pozner
Family members remember Noah Pozner, 6, — one of 26 victims killed on Friday — as “just a really lively, smart kid.” According to a Facebook page set up in Noah’s memory, supporters can send letters of support to a friend who will deliver them to the family later this week. Cards can be mailed to: Friends of Maddie 1534 North Moorpark Road Suite 284 Thousand Oaks, CA 91360
Ann, thank you for sharing these links with us. We are all horrified by this tragedy and would love to know how to help these families. God be with you all.
Beautifully said, Ann! I feel so proud to have met, worked with and laughed with you oh so many years ago.
xoxo,
lois
Thanks Lynn and Lois!
My youngest daughter is around that age. And after reading what this amazing teacher said and did, I have a newfound respect for all teachers. You sometimes take for granted the fact that while your kids are at school to learn, they are also cared for by the teachers and staff there. I take my hat off to all teachers, where ever in the world they may be.
Still so heartbreaking! I know everyone hugged their kids tigther that evening and every evening since then, and has a deeper appreciation of teachers.
Thank you for sharing the story…..I’m also wondering how traumatized the surviving kids must be.
Well said Ann, I totally agree. Love is a wonderful thing not a shameful one. It’s also important that we reach out to strangers and people we pass on the street or in the store. Imagine making a strangers day by helping them, or paying them a complient and they then pass it on. Sunday at church my priests spoke of Joy, how it’s our responsibility to spread joy and cheer. My priests also own a funeral home, they will be directing one if the funerals for one of the victims. They told us that they have recieved so many calls about donations for items such as caskets, urns and flowers etc. We need to look to the helpers and be helpers. Thank you for all your wit and love. Take Care Love Jennifer
Interesting point Jennifer. Why are we embarrassed to share loving feelings?
Thank you for posting this Ann. I can’t begin to imagine the horror the first responders faced when they arrived on scene. Love to everyone on this blog and to you Ann for being here for all of us.
I also have a kindergarten-aged son. It was hard to send him off to school today. Your story about the teacher telling her students she loved them is a bit of brightness in a dark landscape. It made me tear up. Thanks for sharing it, Ann.
Ann, Thank you your constant concern for, and involvement with our communities here in Litchfield County. We live across the Lake (we have for 7 generations!) and my husband Tom Fahsbender teaches Middle School math and science at Washington Montessori. Both our daughters are teachers, and we have four grandchildren. Our son died of muscular dystrophy when he was 24. This tragedy in our neighboring village has changed all our lives permanently. There are many levels of grief and sadness, but also so much light and hope. Our little human tribe pulls together with such strength in adversity. We are committed to joining our voices to begin a national journey towards stronger gun laws, more support for mental health, and honoring the lives lost with our commitment to peace. Thank you for the helpful list of charities to support. God bless your big heart.
Thanks so much Jennifer and so sorry for your loss. You’re right, we are “a little human tribe.” What a wonderful phrase.
My 11 year old son was home with me on Friday. As the day unfolded I tried not to let him see me upset and heartbroken. By the end of the day all my family was home including my partner and our daughter. We tried to keep our day as typical as we could given what we learned but when the kids were away from me, upstairs in their room or playing a video in another room, I watched the news. I had withheld my anguish and tears all day. Then I saw Kaitlin Roig tell her story and I cried. These teachers are all the greatest heros we could have the blessing to know in our lifetimes. We need to consider awarding these people, Sandy Hook staff and the first responders, the highest acknowledgement we give citizens of our country.
Ann, thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts.
Ann, thank you for this. One of my daughters is a teacher and we sat and talked about this horror over the weekend. I know that she, and her fellow young, dedicated, loving teachers, would have reacted in the same way that the brave and compassionate teachers at Sandy Hook did. She had concerns about what would happen this morning (Monday) in her class and the questions that would undoubtedly be asked by the kids. How on earth do you explain such evil to young children? She, her fellow teachers, and principal, will be prepared but this story will affect them always. And this, in a school in Canada. What happened on Friday in Newtown has long-reaching effects.
I am hopeful that this tragedy will bring to the forefront the issues of assault weapons and of mental health, so that truly meaningful action can be taken. It is long past time.
Thank you, Ann. You have brought together so many wonderful people through this blog. Some I’ve met, some I haven’t, but all are kind, caring, and compassionate. I am happy to be a part of it. The tragedy in Newtown has really brought home the importance of kindness to all, now and always.
A wonderful reminder Ann, and for those of us with older, maybe not so cuddly cute ones, your advice still applies. I tell each of them I love them everyday, even if it is by text instead of a hug. And your thoughts are so much more poignant at this time of year.
Ann, Thank you so much for being you! I have laughed and cried at your posts so often. I Love You! We are on a first name basis when I relay your posts to my husband.
We both cried watching the news on Friday, both cried when we went to work that evening and saw the flag at half mast. Our hearts are so heavy. I have so many feeling wrapped up in my soul that I only cry…can’t put them in words. Thanks to you and your readers for doing it for me. Even though we live thousands of miles away…Newtown is in my thoughts and prayers.
http://www.bardenfund.com/
Thanks Ann. Here’s another fund for you. And I love you too!
Thanks for posting this, Ann. You have done something constructive amid the foaming media frenzy, which I believe infects other mentally ill people.
Kaitlin is a hero for the ages. The whole event sickens and saddens me so I will be silent now.
Thank you Ann, these stories of bravery and heroism are the ones we all need to continue to focus on. It’s time to recognize our teachers for who they really are and what they do for our children and for us. This morning as I hugged and kissed my children for the umpteenth time and sent them to school, they are 4 and 9, I started to think about their teachers, both past and present, and I found myself wondering, if perhaps this situation had occurred in our school, would our teachers have taken such quick action? The answer is a wholehearted ‘yes’. I know that any one of my children’s fantastic teachers and care givers would fiercely protect their students in times of crisis. It gives me some comfort to know that, when I can’t be there, my children are cared for, taught, respected and loved by these amazing people. It’s time we celebrate our teachers and cherish ALL of our children. Thanks again for reminding us of the good in this world.
Dear (dear!) Ann, Shortly after I heard the news, I thought of you and your crew. Thank you SO MUCH for posting this and for showing we (who feel so helpless) ways to help. I saw a news clip with Ms. Roig in which she stated that she didn’t know what was going to happen, but she wanted her little charges to hear words of love, not the hatred and madness that was unfolding all around them.Her grace and courage brought me (and many, many others to tears). Thank you for this and thank you for being a part of my life. Love to you, yours and my fellow Ann fans.
Ann, I thought of you so many times wondering if you were one of the first responders at Sandy Hook. I have been married to a first responder for 25 years myself and I have been crying all weekend over this. There is nothing worse in life than the loss of a child, there are no words. God bless you and everyone in the area. This brings us all to our knees.
We love you, Ann. And I love the wonderful folks I’ve been so fortunate to meet through this blog, both in person and across the miles. Thank you for this beautiful post. What this teacher did and what she said to those kids was so perfect.
You’re right, we need to not be afraid to let people know we love them.
I’ve had tears in my eyes so often since Friday. But I know that although evil exists, good is stronger and will always overcome. Love is stronger.
Ann, thank you for this post. Thank you for bringing some really wonderful people into my life, you included. I am very grateful i met the ppl i met through you. I had a great time with all of you, your just lovely and so are they.
THANK YOU ANN. My daughter in law teaches 4th grade. I wonder how she will deal with the questions and fears of her students. Life will never be the same. I really wish there would be a ban on violent video games. I do think they cause harm in someone with any question of mental illness.
May God bless and keep us all. Love to you, Ann. Thanks for a place to vent.
Dear Sweet Ann……
When the news broke Friday of this senseless tragedy in Newtown, the first thing I did was look to see how close you are to them. I knew Bernie would be heading that way and wondered if you were too….
My prayers were including all first responders as well as the families affected, and still are…..
Love showed up in so many ways that day, and because of what happened – Love will become stronger and more apparent then before.
You have – through this blog – created a family in itself, with so many across the globe, from all walks of life.
We laugh, we cry, we give support, we share the trials and tribulations of everday life.
We agree – we disagree, we throw hissy fits, we forgive, all dynamics of a family.
The most common thread that weaves its way through this family — is LOVE.
We should NEVER be afraid to say it – especially to those we love.
In 1997 – when Diana was killed in Paris, I remember what struck me most was something she has said in an interview. That she always ended conversations with her children with the words – I LOVE YOU, because if anything ever happened, that would be the last thing they heard from her. From that day forward, it has become my ritual to say those 3 tiny words to those I love. And – I hear it back as well……
)
Out of tragedies, good things come….. this is just one of those ripple effects, that can mean the world to those on the receiving end.
Thank you Ann for this posting…I know how difficult this is for you, especially being so close to those involved etc…
Love you so much
ann, i thought of you so much this weekend, knowing if you weren’t a first responder, you probably know people who were. i was glad that a priest in the service last night said a prayer for the first responders, who must be dealing with their own grief, forever changed by what they saw.
as many of us are animal lovers, here is a place to donate, too:
http://www.lutheranchurchcharities.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=25&Itemid=95
some of the best people i know are friends i’ve met through you and this blog. much love to all of you…. xoxo
I know more personal accounts of this tragic event will surface, that will make me cry and at the same time remind me how strong and protective people can be, they are all hero’s to me. Some of us will never hear these stories from these unspoken hero’s. God Bless all of those who had to endure any pain related to this day. Thank you Ann for what you do to enlighten us with your words that you so beautifully put together. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading!
Dear Ann — again what an eloquent post and it just breaks my heart about all of those involved.
Even though I am in Calgary — rest assured that Canadians are grieving with our friends down south — it is such a tragedy.
Love is such a powerful gift and we really should remember to share it more often than we do I think!
Even though my girls are all grown, I hugged them all tighter when we got together on the weekend and I hugged my hubby as he was a medic for many years and continues to volunteer in the medical community as much as he can — he has seen stuff that no one should and I know he empathizes deeply with the police and first responders.
Hugs to you and all of your blog followers — even though we haven’t met personally — I count you all as good friends and look forward to seeing what everyone is up to as often as I can!
Ann,
I thought of you and your community all weekend, along with all of the east coast bloggers I’ve met here. My heart goes out to all of you.
Sending love and condolences from Nashville.
Amanda
We love you too Ann!
My brother-in-law is a teacher in Newtown, but in a middle school. I held my breath for him until I heard that it was an elementary school and when I got further news, my heart broke. The sister-in-law of a co-worker was in the principal’s office at Sandy Hook when she ran out and didn’t return. That woman survived and has not come out of her bedroom all weekend. We all may be miles apart, but such tragedy brings us all closer. I hope your friend finds the strength to heal from the horrible sights he has seen.
I too cried when Kaitlin Roig spoke. One thing that I heard her say was sad in a different way – she said something like “I know it isn’t ok as a teacher to say these things, but I had to tell them I loved them.” How sad that she had to actually think about it first (if only for a split second) – as you say, we should always say we love each other. I spoke to a homeless man once and he said all he really wants is to be acknowledged that he is alive – people walk by him as if he is invisible (I’ve had that feeling and is stinks).
Thank you as well for posting all the memorial fund sights — so sad, but nice. Take care!
Love you – Donna
There are just no words….. What happened is beyond devastating. I’m an elementary school teacher and I was nervous about going into work today. We all follow the protocols and know the drills well with regards to lockdowns, however, you always hope that you NEVER have to have a real one. I do feel like a second mother to my students and I almost broke down and cried when one of the first things one of my students said to me this morning was, “You won’t let anything bad happen to us…will you….” It was such a difficult day. I cannot even begin to imagine how life is for the people and children of Newtown, CT.
I heard in the interview with the first grade teacher that she told her students she loved them for many reasons, but most importantly because she feared they would die and the last words she wanted them to hear was I love you…..
NEWTOWN, CT — The U.S. Postal Service has established a unique Post Office Box to allow the public to send condolences to those affected by the tragedy in Newtown CT last week.
Those who wish to send expressions of comfort should address them to:
Messages of Condolence for Newtown
PO Box 3700
Newtown CT 06470
“We understand that there is an outpouring of support for everyone in the Newtown area and we hope to make it easier for those who wish to send encouragement and messages of compassion to those affected,” said Kimberly J. Peters, Connecticut Valley District Manager for the U.S. Postal Service. “Through letters and cards, families will be able to hold that friendship in their hands and to read those kind words at a time and place that supports their pace of healing.”
Oh, Ann, thanks for writing this, and for letting us know where and how we can offer our support and send messages of condolence to these families and this community. Like everyone, I am so saddened by this senseless tragedy and the loss of these beautiful children and the heroic teachers and staff who gave their lives to try to save them. I know none of them, but I grieve for them all.
As a horsewoman, I was particularly touched by the words of the parents of little, 6 year-old Jessica Rekos, who so eloquently shared their daughter’s love for all things horses, along with a photo of Jessica in a pink polo shirt with the famous polo player logo, optimism and promise radiating from that beautiful, angelic face. She reminded me of myself and my great love for horses 50 years ago – it just breaks my heart that she was prevented from seeing all of her dreams of horses fulfilled. So sad. May all of the families find peace and comfort in the knowledge that their unfathomable losses have touched us all.
I know, Leslie, she reminded me of myself at that age with all her horsey dreams.
Here’s another way to help (taken from Newtown Memorial Fund’s facebook page):
“Let’s Give Sandy Hook School a Winter Wonderland”
Snowflake Drive – Like our children, no two snowflakes are alike. We invite you to create snowflakes to decorate Sandy Hook School’s new home. Be creative! All colors and designs are welcome. We know that children will enjoy creating art that can adorn the walls of SHS’s new elementary school. CT PTSA has been contacted from schools across the state and this is a project we can all share. “Snowflake” drop boxes will be available at all schools or can be mailed to: Connecticut PTSA, 60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103, Hamden, CT 06514, by January 12, 2013.
I also live in a neighboring town in Fairfield County and it has been a heartbreaking and difficult few days. I’ve heard people say more than once, “It’s like 9/11 all over again”. It’s a helpless feeling knowing you can’t take the pain away but only offer comfort and do what you can to help ease the pain so many are enduring now and in the days to come.
Ann, thank you. Kaitlin’s story was so moving and inspiring. Love to you and all of our blog family.
Dear Ann, thanks for giving me a way to do something, anything, to allow me to feel as if I’m helping. My Project Linus blanket is underway, and even if my particular blanket doesn’t make it all the way to Newtown, I know it will end up with someone who needs it: http://instagram.com/p/TYnyfPAW9R/
Much love to all of you,
Denise
For our human tribe:
Twas 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38.
When 20 beautiful children storm through heaven’s gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what happened earlier that day.
“Where are we”? asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“This is heaven”, declared a small boy” we’re spending Christmas at God’s
house.
When what to their wandering eyes should appear.
But Jesus, our Savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring.
These children all flew into the arms of their King.
And as they lingered in the warmth of his embrace.
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had.
He gently whispered to her “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below.
He saw all the hurt, the sorrow, the woe.
Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand.
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land.”
“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools.”
“I’m taking back My nation, I’m taking back my schools.”
Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“Come now my children, let me show you around.”
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran,
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight.
“In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”
>
>WRITTEN BY A GENTLEMAN IN SOUTHERN PA.
thank you for your beautiful words, ann. i have been having a really hard time processing and articulating my thoughts and feelings about this tragedy. i too live locally (brookfield) so this is really difficult for all of us. every one of us has lost so much. no one is untouched.
i can only imagine the horror your friends experienced…i am sending healing prayers to them all. no one should ever have to go through all this.
i too have been effected by kristin’s story. as a teacher myself, we are told to “keep our relationships professional with parents and students”…i understand the school systems perspective, buts as a kindergarten teacher, you can’t help but hugs your kids and tell them you love them…and you really, truly do. you spend all day, 5 days a week with these kids, sharing their hopes and dreams with them, as well as them sharing my life with them as well. i agree that kristin what she needed to do, she followed her heart, and because she did, she saved their lives and comforted when they needed her most.
my heart aches for those we have lost and their families.
by reading your words, it gave me an opportunity to consider some things…for that i thank you. i am still at a loss, but i am finding opportunities to see some light and to express thanks to all of those who stepped up to help the children and community.
thank you for helping us all share some of the light.
robyn
sorry, i mistakenly called kaitlin kristen…apologies. my respect for her remains.
I too can’t look away from the media and all I can do is cry
I can’t imagine what they are going through
I can’t fathom how they will be able to go on
Thank you for the links
And hug your loved ones
Dear Ann, as this tragedy was unfolding on Friday, I thought of you often, knowing you too are a first responder. I still can’t seem to process the magnitude of what happened. Thanks for your post today and I also really agreed with your Twitter posts re: Dr. Drew and Piers Morgan. I can’t watch the media coverage of this anymore. As to your point about expressing love, I love you and all my blog friends so much. Though I’ve not met any of you in person, you bring so much to me daily and make me feel connected to the “little human tribe” (great phrase Jennifer). I’m 3,000 miles away in California, but I feel like you’re all just down the street.
Dear Ann,
Thanks for your post, and for compiling a list of organizations that are helping the people of Newtown. My school community in Texas is having a fundraiser tomorrow to honor the students and teachers of Sandy Hook. One of our teachers is from the area and will be delivering letters and funds in person as he returns home for the holidays. Our hearts go out to the families of Newtown.
Thank you for posting about what most people cannot imagine experiencing. My husband is a firefighter near Boston, and my parents also live a few exits away from Newtown. Here it is almost 4 weeks later and we’ve all gone on with our daily schedules, which is normal, yet, I cannot stop thinking about what the families, first responders and entire Newtown community are feeling when they put their heads on their pillows each night. Thank you for sharing the information on how to help