I know I’ve mentioned that I receive a fair amount of spam on this blog. Usually I deliver it straight to the junk folder, but here’s a quote from a spiffy piece of spam I received this morning: “Best choice of the month about Fetish, Smelling fetish, Fetish pantiehose and Kilt fetish.” There’s a link to a website attached, of course.
I get the whole fetish concept. I can understand a smelling fetish, and the pantiehose [sic] fetish. But “kilt fetish?”. And why would the spammer assume that kilt lust should be thrown in the same pile as the desire to don a pair of tights? Or smell smelly things? And what did fetishists do before the internet?
I’ve been working and haven’t had a lot of time to blog, so I thought I’d look up some more old commercials to entertain you. Since we’re already talking about sex, remember Hai Karate cologne? I don’t think this commercial would be allowed on network television today. Very funny.
Here’s the link for those whose computers can’t read the embedded video.
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lol i would certainly do a day
i cant imagine writing a book
they would think i was making it all up
Bev, thanks for updating us. You know that if we don’t hear from you regularly, we’re going to go into a tizzy like we did over Ann last week, right?
Ok, the spider thing is creepy, my skin is actually crawling, but Lisa is right, it’s actually turned out positive after your horrible bite. You didn’t have to clean it up, & you didn’t discover it AFTER you moved in. And you are learning to take care of yourself first, which is one thing most women don’t do. Don’t regret your house purchase. You will love it when it’s all done.
Lisa, I love the slogan, the bug stops here!
Tammy, you should write a book. lololol I can imagine it would be impossible not to laugh @ those request. So some actually laughed w/ you? Ok, I think we need to have an Ask Tammy Day! lolololol
Bev:
Oooohhh! Must remove those nasty, scary spiders before you move into your new and loving home. I, myself, don’t like spiders inside my house. In fact, I don’t like any creepy crawler or fly-about creatures in my home. Makes me feel insecure and quite anxious. But I’m happy to know you have been resting. (It’s very difficult to not be able to have your fingers in all of the pies, isn’t it?? I’m a control freak and also can’t sit still when others are working feverishly around me. But you desperately needs to rest and recover, Bev. Let us know when you learn something new from your doctors, ok?
(If my typing is sloppy or undecipherable, please excuse me. My sleeping pill has begun taking effect. But before I crash into bed, I had to check Ann’s blog for anything interesting I might have missed.)
Lupe: Trying to come up with a topic for you to enlighten and educate us about brings out my neurotic and insecure tendencies. So, I’ll just lurk around and enjoy reading my fellow bloggers questions and your answers. I can learn that way, right??
Shoot. I’m going to be gone most of the day tomorrow (Thursday), listening to DH Lawrence talk dirty to me in the car for a few hours. I was going to try to think of something to ask Lupe tonight, in anticipation of Lupepalooza tomorrow. I am drawing a blank.
Hi Tammy,
You need to write a book detailing your experiences, I’ll be the first in line to ask for your signature. You shared much too little in your post. I intend to live vicariously through you. People actually pay money to talk dirty. A tape recorder isn’t enough?
Hi Ann,
Mom and I finished An Innocent, A Broad. We both enjoyed it. I really like the cover, it conveys the spirit of the memoir. Some of the barbs had me laughing out loud.
Now I am posting too much.
Annie M.
Hi Mary,
Regarding the Joe Namath commercial,
I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it! Perhaps not when it was first aired but the image just burned indelibly into my mind. What a scorching pair of legs that man had!
Annie M.
Bev I hope all goes well for you.
Tracy Yes any words like fetish, shoes, take me back to that sad hysterical time. The money is very good but those women are way under paid. I didnt last long because I couldnt help but laugh out loud at some of the requests. Thankfully a lot of the callers never took themselves too serious anyway and would laugh along with you.
Lupe, you are priceless.
Annie M.
The commercial is hilarious. I don’t think it was too risque. For me it was kinda like a parody of sorts, seduction, I suppose. Thanks for posting it Ann. I’ll take a look at it whenever I need an infusion of humor.
Annie M.
Thanks for the update, Bev. Assuming you get good news from the doctor, I’d say this experience is a net positive….. you didn’t have to clean the new house, you didn’t have to de-spider it, I’m sure you won’t be allowed to do any heavy lifting, and you’re learning to worry about yourself for a change. Sweet!
It’s probably discouraging to think about your arch enemy in the new house, but I’m sure four years with no one living there caused a few spiders to move it. Since your husband is doing the bomb and a pest company is coming, you’re taking care of the situation ahead of time. On a lighter note, I saw a truck for a local exterminator yesterday and their motto is “The bug stops here.” Please let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow!!
Caroline:
Oh yes you can ask personal questions!.
Just be aware that I am not shy and I may dodge the bullet/question.
But you can, I mean, I have shared what is about me, and most of it was personal and did happen. Right? Right.
Also, I am not that interesting, you know? Been in two countries and stuff, but lots of people have. The only difference is that my ‘drama’ side makes me tell stuff as if it was unique and I embroider too, without missing what did happen.
Lupe-
You bring me back to my glory days at the Universidad de Madrid where (1969-1970) I was “La Rubia de Boston”, despite my dark hair, only because I was the bad American girl who went out at night without a duena and danced and drank tinto under the noses of the Guardia Civil. Wild days, Franco to the contrary notwithstanding. Sigh. And the Bantu “clicks”!! In college I took a lot of linguistics and one of our final exams was to translate a passage from a totally obscure language based on the grammatical structure, morphemes, etc. We had to first read it out loud and it was all clicks and grunts and glottal stops. Maybe it was Bantu?? I just love your posts. I learn so much!!
Mary L, wow, you took me back, WAY back! lololol
Tammy, I can’t even imagine! How did this post become so much about sex anyway??? I love it! I’ve been laughing all day reading the updated comments.
Yes Lupe, there is a lot of love here, & it’s wonderful. Good for you on the cell phone. You go girl!
We do need a Bev update. Are you out there?
Ann, been meaning to ask, anything lately from the Toast Ghost, & has anyone else been around to ask if they smelled him/her?
Lisa,
Dare i even say this…..I have sat with my feet up and today,it looks a little better!! Now the true test will be tomorrow to see what the dr says, or if i will be hooked up to an IV and he says I am going blind and my positive thinking has made me crazy.
The only bad news today..I had a cleaner go in and clean the farmhouse this morning, she came to see me 6 hours later and said , well…. The one problem i see is spiders! I got about 5 -6 out of every room! the house has been empty for 4 years..so my darling husband is off to fog bomb tonight and i have called a pest guy to come ASAP. I have to move in on Saturday.. so I hope that with the big clean and a good fog bombing I will be ok…
I am now regretting my decision for a 1700’s farmhouse..Ann Please chime in and make me feel better about an old house.. anyone?? no really anyone??? LOL!
Thanks Lupe and Colleen for the emails you guys rock!!!!
Can we ask personal questions without offending you, Lupe? Not obnoxious ones, but just biographical stuff.
Ask lupe day, now what question hasn’t Lupe answered already?things that make you go humm…how do they get th caramel in the center?? no really it will be interesting enough to read all the other answers on this Lupeapalooza day have fun all
Alan:
kilt fetish.. I am going to look it up. For one thing it rains like the Dickens in that part of the world. For the other, if they don’t wear undies, it has got to be cold…
And some comments on why I like to read so much. I mean, the system as it were, was keeping it from me., right?. So that is where I went.
And also, my Bishop uncle (once removed??) taught me how to read in the Bible…
then Franco did not want us to know a darn thing but Cathechism;
my mother felt I started lots of things but finished nothing;
the unspoken message was that a girl did not need to fill her pretty little head with thoughts…;
My name was Maria (mother of Jesus)
I am a Sagitarius
So, where did I go? Right where I am at, in the business of being curious and inquisitive.
The stuff I read while little…
My maternal grandma and grandpa had a house in Santander, Espana. Their land had been expropiated, but they still had some cows and some land.. the rest was under water, as a dam had been built instead…
My grandma had an attic, and in it, there was this old trunk. In the trunk there were three book volumes. The title was “Jose Maria el Tempranillo”. It was written in old Castillian. And it was about this bandido who in theory stole from the rich and gave to the poor..
Of course, I was entralled by it. To the point where my grandma would send for me, so I would go out and play…
This is some of the stuff I learned from the book:
Happened in South Cordoba, at the Genil river banks, he was born June 21 1805. His real name was Jose Pelagio Hinojosa Cobacho. Poverty. The country was fighting the French, instability, hunger, lack of culture. JMET started his life of crime by stabbing a male over a woman. A local man told JMEY “temprano empiezas, temprano” (you started early, real early).
He had to leave town, lacking the most basic things, danger in the trails, the heat, the army, the thieves, the others in his same situation. He was smart, he was short, he was strong. And he learned to steal during the day. He would assault a carriage, and while taking the ring off a welathy lady’s hand, he would kiss her hand with great adoration and explain to her that his kiss had more worth than the ring.. Sometimes, the victims believed him.
Apparently his left hand had been destroyed by the wounds of a pistol, and he had to ride his horse for 25 days before he could get help. They offered some seis mil reales as a reward for his capture, alive or dead. They could not catch him.
Please understand that all of this summary was spread out into chapters, and each one of them started with the first letter in lovely calligraphy, and the paper was yellow and the story amazing.
And in this book I learned that when the rules are opressive, one must look a way around it. See trip to London.
Ann:
Okay. Tomorrow then.
And to share that there is a lot of love and that is why I like it here. And it is because of Denis>Anne, the combination!. He ’sold’ it and we found her. I have these photos I want to post so bad… but I sent them to Ann and she only posted one. So I shall be quiet about it, for a while anyway.
In very good spirits because I had purchased this expensive (to me) cell phone, the kind that does everything after you study the manual that is, and it so happened.. that the darn thing does not work, and..
Well, took it to the place, and this pretty, uncaring, uninformed little wench was quick to tell me it was NOT under warranty…
So, I pulled out from the darkness my witch skills, got over the upset and WENT back today to the same place. Thank God the little one was not there… and this nice male was quick to tell me that it WAS under warranty and I got a new one!. Great victory, guys, as I do not have another 450.00 laying around for that little bit. Now, if it were shoes…
I finished “Trinity” last night. It got so that my tail bone ached from staying in the same position, and I did not want to let go of the book. The author writes HARD, and I had to focus on the story line and the different role players. I fell in love with Connor..and I feel for the struggle of the Irish people. For some reason I do not feel the same about the Bantu folks, and that is what my Professor objected to and commented that I was biased.
By the way, the Bantu folks used to have a language that was made out of ‘click’ sounds. When I read Twitter, it makes me think of that Bantu language. I did take a class on African History too.. but back to the languages, I do not relate to Twitter and it is because of the Bantu language. Go figure why I connect the two.
Time for Bev update. How are you feeling today, girlie? Please let us know how things are going…..
Regarding fetishes, erm i did a stint as a phone sex operator long ago when times were hard and money was tight.
You have no idea how hard it is not to laugh out loud while they are going on.
erm yes i have feet, yes shoes too, yup two of them
The strangest thing is they really never get um …dirty its just all about say your feet..shoes..how you paint your toes it is very bizzarre
those women doing those jobs need to have oscars
Lupe, unless you are dating Joe Namath, no man should be wearing panty hose. Now that’s an old commerical.
Ann, I just stumbled on Denis’ ‘interview’ of you on your site when ‘Outtakes’ was published. Oh my gosh, what a great idea, and I was laughing my ass off! That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Absolutely brilliant. If that’s an example of how you are together, I’d love to hang out with you, because I know I’d be laughing so hard my sides hurt!
I can’t wait for all Lupe, all the time (well for Thursday, anyway)!!
Feel better, Bev — sending hugs your way!!
OMG Lupe, you had me laughing so hard! I can just see you w/ a list, ‘Ok, cross that one off: Leather mask fetish’. ‘Next!’ lolol
Bev, Cheese fetish! lololol I love it! Glad to hear you are resting, but you need to rest your mind as well. Stressing your mind is not helping, and will NOT help your move, etc, OK?????? That’s an order young lady! Still sending healing, serene thoughts your way. Reeeelaaaaaaxxxxxx.
An Ask Lupe Day sounds great, but I don’t have any idea what I would ask!
Cheryl, I liked your phrase ‘right to blog no approval’. We demand RIGHT TO BLOG, NO APPROVAL’! Chant it w/ me girls & gentlemen! lololol Sorry Ann, got a little carried away in the crowd. I’ll settle down now.
Angela, your whole post made me laugh so hard. I loved that you’re embarrassed in your car, thinking that everyone around you knows what you’re listening to. hehehe I think you should blast it w/ the windows down! lololol
Lupe, I still want to see you work “testicles” into another post.
Bev – Cheese fetish? That’s hilarious! Cheese has its very own bottomless drawer over here in our fridge, so I don’t think a cheese fetish would be a far stretch…
The ad was funny! Probably not air-able anymore, but I am still amazed with what they get away with. Is anyone else disgusted by those “Enzyte” commercials? Ugh. Totally disgusting. Makes the other “male enhancement” commercials look classy.
So the topic has turned to sex again, appropriately enough. I rented “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” on audiobook from the library, and I am on disc 3 (of five? I don’t know). Oh. My. Goodness. Lawrence wasted no time getting to the good parts. This book was written in the 1920’s??? I found myself getting all embarrassed alone in the car, as if everybody who passed me on the highway knew what I was listening to. It was almost as weird as watching “Unfaithful” with my parents (never again, by the way).
Kilt fetish, huh??? But then again, nowadays, anything is possible…
Okay, let’s do it Thursday, Lupe, because I’ll be away from the computer on Wednesday a bit. People can post their questions in the comments and you can answer. I’m looking forward to this!
Just get a hold of this:
{{I have been reading Leon Uris’s “Trinity” and learning a lot of stuff. He is a ‘heavy’ writer and I have to concentrate. The ‘killer’ is the following}} Copied it from somewheres..
Uris attended schools in Norfolk, Virginia and Baltimore, but never graduated from high school, having failed English three times. At the age of seventeen Uris joined the United States Marine Corps. He served in the South Pacific as a radioman at Guadalcanal, Tarawa, and New Zealand from 1942 to 1945. While recuperating from malaria in San Francisco, he met Betty Beck, a female Marine sergeant. They married in 1945.
* Battle Cry, 1953
* The Angry Hills, 1955
* Exodus, 1958
* Exodus Revisited, 1960 (GB title: In the Steps of Exodus)
* Mila 18, 1961
* Armageddon: A Novel of Berlin, 1963
* Topaz, 1967
* The Third Temple (with Strike Zion by William Stevenson), 1967
* QB VII, 1970
* Ireland, A Terrible Beauty, 1975 (with Jill Uris)
* Trinity, 1976
* Jerusalem: A Song of Songs, 1981 (with Jill Uris)
* The Haj, 1984
* Mitla Pass, 1988
* Redemption, 1995
* A God in Ruins, 1999
* O’Hara’s Choice, 2003
http://www.hrc.utexas.edu/research/fa/uris.html
Open to the public!
All of his notes. Imagine that.
So, I already said yes, and if Ann has more ideas as to how to do it, we shall wait to hear. If not, just tell me when it starts as I am likely to start answering stuff or commenting WHETHER it was addressed to me or not!.
I can only presume that the kilt fetish is big in Scotland.
As for the commercial: groovy, baby!
Ann:
Sure. I can try.
Lupe,
I can’t tell you how many times your posts have made me laugh. One of my favorite Lupe-inspired descriptions is “ambulating turd.” But your latest post, with its candid revelation, “if I am dating somebody, and he shows up with a leather mask, I would inquire as to what the problem is” is priceless. I almost broke my rib laughing. It’s number one on my top 10 Lupe sayings.
Bev sounds like they are trying alittle of everything takecare of yourself and we are all thinking of ya.And alot of us have taken the blog for a day I think keep us informed. Now Lupe day does sound like fun I was also thinking about An “Annathon”all day blog conversation once the right to blog no approval is in place maybe just a thought ann you have created quite the web family here…
“I mean, if I am dating somebody, and he shows up with a leather mask, I
would inquire as to what the problem is.”
Lupe, you’re the person I’d want to call if somebody showed up at my house wearing a leather mask. Which gives me an idea.
Let’s have an “Ask Lupe” day. Would you be willing Lupe? You seem very wise and what you don’t know, you seem quite happy to research for us. Or you can just give your opinion which can just be based on a hunch. We could do it any day this week that you have time. We will ask your advice, or opinion and you can offer us your wisdom. Of course, I can’t offer any monetary compensation. Just a day of fun and learning. Are you game?
Ok I know I am on quite a few drugs but why did I read that as Cheese fetish and not chess???
To all you wonderful ladies, You are really the very best and I cannot tell you all how much you have lifted my spirits, Colleen you have touched my heart what a kind generous offer, I am going to fire off an email to you.. thank you so much!
Dr looked today… 4th day of IV another oral med added to my list. I will be re-checked tomorrow and thursday at which point if there is no sign of improvement I will be sent in to see the specialist and they will talk about surgery, they are also waiting for a culture result too.
So today I took all your advice to heart and I am resting!! It is so hard..but the main thing is to get better and resting the leg will help that….
They have thought about the brown recluse but at this point they say there is no necrosis so that looks good…fingers crossed.
Much love and many thanks to all!!!!
Ann thank you for letting me Hi-jack your wonderful blog!!
Dear Ann:
I was taught in one of my many recent human sexuality classes that fetishes (word?) are normal as long as :
“Not That There’s Usually Anything Wrong With That
It’s only necessary to seek help if harm is coming from your sexual habit, says sex therapist Barnaby Barratt — if, for example, you’re clashing with the law or injuring yourself or others. Your off-the-track practices aren’t hurting anyone? In that case, Barratt encourages, “Enjoy!”
For me, if I was to be subject to anything other than a normal encounter, I would run away from it and quickly too. It would spook me.
Then again, I have never strayed from the Catholic Church much either, even though the church itself, during the Medieval times, engaged in watching torture of the ‘infidels’ and the ‘witches’ by inflicting fetish-like experiments during the Spanish Inquisition. I mean, these so called priests and men of knowledge would design stuff and watch the stuff and write about the stuff and define the stuff. They were sicker than sick, as far as I can understand it. Or repressed. Or both.
I mean, if I am dating somebody, and he shows up with a leather mask, I would inquire as to what the problem is. There is this one store here in this city, that sells the most outrageous equipment, that looks extremely uncomfortable. Stilettos are okay, but those platforms? I don’t know.
Another issue that I found of interest was about the males that LIKE to dress like females. Apparently there is nothing wrong with that either!. Apparently, for those folks, it is a turn on. Once again, should I go on a date (has never happen before) and the guys has pantyhose on himself, I would really wonder and I would exit without further ado.
Then again, I could be uptight and ‘medieval’ or I could be ‘victorian’ or I could be…
I don’t care, I own up to how I feel.
I suppose it should not matter how people do stuff, as long as they are consenting adults. I also suppose that it is going to take some generations to erase the influence of the church teachings (not what they did but what they taught) in people like me.
Yes, Candy, still plodding (or should I say plotting) away on book.
Somebody please suggest to Beverly that the doctors check to see if what bit her was a brown recluse spider – if so, surgery is necessary and should be done right away
That commercial is classic!!! lol!!!
And all the fetishes …lol!!!
Thanks for the giggles this morning.
Ann, you said you were working, are you working on the book? You have not said anything about it lately, are you past the block? Would like to hear about it. Been a gardening fool myself lately, finally got hot here.
D – I love the Vinyard – any suggestions as to where to stay?
My gosh, you guys are something!!! I go to Martha’s Vineyard for two weeks and Ann goes to Positano and others have a Blogapalooza in New York……… Talk about being outside the circle!
I’m glad you had a wonderful time in paradise – what a lovely anniversary trip. Mine is coming up in September – perhaps a suggestion for my beloved!
lololol Love the fetish list. When I finish my Blogapalooza post, you’ll read of an artist’s fetish that Barbara & I saw.
Oh my, was that commercial a blast from the past! hehehe No, it probably wouldn’t be allowed today.
Bev, I know you want the move & everything for your parents visit to go perfectly, but you have to let go and take care of yourself. Nothing is perfect, your parents will understand, and moves NEVER happen perfectly. Stop stressing yourself out over all of it – it is out of your control. This is a very serious matter that you’re dealing with, & stress won’t help. I’m sending your positive healing thoughts, as is everyone on this blog.
How incredibly sweet & kind of Colleen to offer to help in anyway that she can!!!! Colleen, you touched my heart, & it wasn’t even me you offered to help! You are amazing!!!!
Very funny indeed..at first I thought she was Faye Dunaway but nope…Anywhoot would like to know if there was mate to that check she made wish it was that easy to get a man in bed just start beating him in a game that’ll take her mind of it.most guys would ju thatst knock the board and say whoops (or something with a little more zing.