Okay, I moved a lot as a child, and as a result, I have a tremendous amount of anxiety about not fitting in, or being considered a “newby” of any kind. SO, even joining a social group that doesn’t exist in real life makes me a little crazy.
Yesterday, after joining Twitter, I couldn’t have felt more like a new kid and thankfully my friend Michael Maren, screenwriter and master twitterer, very graciously introduced me to many of his “followers” and some of them, then, became my “followers.” I know, I love that they’re called followers – it’s all fitting into my grand scheme of world domination. Anyway, I was “tweeting” away, like a complete rube, “Thank you Michael” and “So happy to meet you Robert,” and Michael discreetly emailed me to explain that on Twitter, you don’t use the person’s real name, but their twitter name. Michael’s by the way, is @mmaren. I’m @annleary, but good luck finding me there. The search engine won’t acknowledge me (yes, more painful childhood memories).
When I received Michael’s email, I chuckled because I reminded myself of my mother, a little. I’ve blogged before about my mother, whose name is Judith, but is not to be confused with Judith S. who sometimes comments here.
My mother believes in proper decorum and old-fashioned good manners, and will try to use them in today’s very casual society. For example, the first time she went to a drive-thru McDonalds, with her grandchildren, she said, into the speaker, “Hi, I’m Judy Howe, and may I please have…” Then, when she went to the pick-up window, she smiled brightly and said, “Hello! Judy Howe!” I don’t know why this makes me laugh until I weep, even typing this. You have to know my mom, maybe it’s the accent….I can’t even see right now, I’m laugh/crying so hard.
Anyway, I felt a little old-school when Michael corrected me on my Twitter behavior. So today, I went back on Twitter, and when I did a search for my name, I was relieved to find somebody even less Twitter-savvy than myself.
Her tweet was: “I’m really Judy Howe in Marblehead – can’t quite figure out this site. Help, anyone?”
Welcome Mom! Or, as I should say, welcome @skippy7777. Allow me to help you. This ain’t Marblehead. So keep it to a concise, semi-anonymous tweet if you don’t mind.
Love you Mom.
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Don’t worry….Lance Armstrong uses his ‘real’ name too. He has 1,395,460 followers…..so I think it’s pretty safe to say your not committing any type of social faux pax!
I like that. Your mom just dealt with it like she was talking on the phone.
Cheryl,
Thanks for the tip! I once played an album for my kids…my husband still has his turntable from college. Anyway my children did not understand the whole concept of having to turn the album over to hear side 2. My daughter did not understand the concept of 45’s and 33’s. What was the point of buying a 45….just to hear the lastest song?!!!! My son thought it was hysterical that if you jumped – the record could skip and my nephew asked me how I played my record albums in the car!!!!! My husband started to tell them about 8-tracks and it was at that point that I realized my husband and I started to sound like our parents. Talking about ‘technology’ of the past. Ugh……I don’t like getting older.
Christine
Ann, Having been adrift in being busy-beyond- words it is such pleasure to check into your posts- bewteen that tantilizing poem and the honest affection for who your mom is, i am feeling better by knowing that you are out there and I’m not crazy…
Thanks.
Wanda, I know this lady who i run into probably every three months. I know her kids first names, I know she has been divorced twice, I know she had a very hard break in life which we talked over coffee a long time and she said i was very helpful. I have absolutely no idea HOW i know her, I dont know her name, its been 18 years and i have no idea how to ask her now. I am afraid to ask anyone who also may know her or they will tell her. Its a horrible situation. Be glad they ask if they arent sure of your name. I am waiting till i can claim old age and ask her then I figure another 10 years will do it
Christine don’t throw them out they are worth money and they are also supposed to be bring them back..not to mention for me I love putting on my ols Stones albums all the time even remember where the skips were brings back memories
Barbara, I forgot to say I was so glad you got a clean bill of health. Congratulations! I hope you & your husband went out and celebrated!
Angela, I’m so sorry! I saw signs that they shipped, but didn’t think about a minimum amount. That’s obscene, especially because that size is not worth $55! But it is NYC! Definitely google for recipes & experiment. Maybe next time I go in we can figure out in advance how I can overnight a smaller size to you w/ ice packs or dry ice. I don’t know where to buy dry ice???
Bev, I too pictured Ann’s mom at the McDonald’s using the British accent, since I finished An Innocent this week. hehehe Enjoy your vist and all your celebrating. You’ve earned it with all you’ve been through. I’m assuming you’re all healed, since you haven’t talked about it? I hope so. Have a wonderful time and we’ll miss you!
Love the story Ann,
When I read it I read your mum saying it in an english accent, because you wrote in the book how her accent changed after a week in the UK… it gave me a chuckle!! LOL!
Well guys I probably will not be around the next 2 weeks as speaking of mum’s my mum, dad amd sister will be flying in from the Uk on tuesday for 2 weeks, also my 3 girls will all be home, it is my middle childs 21st birthday so we are all celebrating… My parents normally do not let me out of their sight for one minute, so the computer is very hard to get on…. I see them 2 x a year and they drink me right up!!! LOL!
Cannot wait to show them the farmhouse… now I just need the weather to stay nice in this unusual summer.
I will be back…..I did not get swallowed up by twitter!
Ann,
I am very impressed that your mom is on Twitter. I have no idea how to twitter and I don’t know if I want to. My mom got a cell phone a number of years ago and her grandchildren teased her about being hi-tech grandma. She does not google or have email, but the cell phone – she just loves! I think it is wonderful that your mom is so up-to-date!
With today’s technology I think it is getting harder and harder to keep up. When I was growing up having a walkman, a stereo and a VCR were huge. I’ll admit I had difficulty changing from record albums to CDs. Now with DVDs, ipods, DVRs and a gazillion other gadgets I think my children will have to live with me forever. Who else will teach me how to use the latest and greatest in technology?!!
Christine
PS My record albums are still in my basement. I know I will probably never listen to them again but I just can’t bring myself to throw them out!!! Especially Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti – it has such a cool album cover!!!
Just love the Twitter story about your mom, so cute!
I think most of us can relate to the fear. I tend to be pretty shy with people I don’t know well. It also could be that often I’m completely forgetable! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached people I’ve met several times and they have no idea who I am. I always get so embarassed. Now I have a habit if I’ve only met someone once or twice I’ll still introduce myself. Many times I do get the “I know who you are” reply. Then I start worrying they think I’m crazy. Depending on the day it’s possible I really am!
Tracy, I Googled this rice pudding place you speak of, because rice pudding is my all time favorite dessert. And FLAVORED rice pudding?? It’s genius. What’s better is that they ship! Overnight!!! I was fantasizing about coconut rice pudding with my credit card in hand, and then I saw the minimum purchase…a 5 serving size. For $55. Ouch. I think I will go buy some coconut milk, Google “rice pudding recipe,” and make some substitutions. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Ann, your mom is adorable! I am totally going to introduce myself next time I hit a drive thru!
For some reason, staying home with the kids for a few years (and having very little contact with the outside adult world) made my anxiety sky rocket. When I finally enrolled in school and took a class last fall, my worst nightmare came true. My schedule was messed up, and I missed lecture but just showed up for lab on the first day. The prof stopped mid-lecture, looked at me, and said, “I’m sorry, I’m just seeing a face I didn’t see in lecture…” and EVERYONE turned and looked at me. I put my face in my book and almost died. When I got home, I started sobbing just telling my husband about the “ordeal.” Oh yes, he thought I was a certifiable nut job. This is a man who will happily eat dinner alone in a restaurant. Oh, the anxiety I experience when I just IMAGINE sitting at the booth by myself when he leaves for the restroom…
Oh I dont know how anyone can be in politics or celebs too. Or Ann putting herself out there for a book and all the critics I would curl up and die. The one good thing about moving so much is you do learn to put yourself out there. I wasnt saying so much I feel that way now, just when you first start something new. It can be very intimidating and scary.Then of course it turns addicting.
Barbara, yes, it is fabulous! I never thought I’d like flavored rice pudding, but there I was, agonizing over caramel, almond, french toast, cheesecake, & I can’t even remember the other flavors I tasted! lololol A rice pudding smorgasbord! Oh, can’t forget Sex, Drugs, & Rocky Road! hehehe All heavenly, & in the coolest take home containers.
Yes, we need to get into the city together soon!
It is funny watching everyone trying to figure out twitter, but I am feeling left out, I don’t want to miss anything. wah! I’m too cheap to pay for a text plan dammit!
Tammy, I keep forgetting to go back to your blog, I was there a week or two ago, & I loved it. It was the day you posted pics of houses in your town, & then I went back & read some of your other posts, you’re really funny. I’m going to have to bookmark it to make sure I remember to go to it.
Tammy & Ann, we share the moving a lot thing in common. I moved 9 times by the time we moved here to PA when I was 13. Just when I started to feel a little comfortable, off we’d go again. So I’ve always had a feeling of not fitting in, & I was always afraid to look stupid for not knowing how to do something. It also caused me to be painfully shy, which I just finally overcame a couple of years ago at 42-43 years old! Now you can’t shut me up – ask Kristin, Barbara, & Kim! lolol I have a lot of years of not talking to make up for.
Tammy:
I know. You kind of share yourself and stuff and at times, the response it not what should happen!.
But I think we have it easy. Just picture people with a name (to mean, attorneys or doctors or politicians even, some actors…) and how can they express themselves openly when there ARE (see, now they come out!) one hundred pairs of eyeballs that can turn around and quote them?.
Yeah, that is something.
Or the very shy ones, the ones who have ‘private’ phone numbers… ohmegod.
I think that something I was told once applies here: “if you do not fall off the horse often, YOU have not been ridding long enough”. So it is okay to fall in our faceys then. And just dust off and do not let the lack of something dampen your creative spirits..
Like I am waiting for Ann’s book about the brujas…and maybe, just maybe, they will have their own misterious lingo….
Sometimes I post stuff and it goes to laalaa land too!. But, since I write plenty, I do not worry.
And I found three long lost friends on Facebook, ONLY I am too shy to approach them-not!.
Your mother sounds like such a darling. I love the way she introduced herself on Twitter and at the drive-through window at McDonalds. So endearing!
Twitter is fun and a little addictive.
lol no i didnt mean you guys
i mean when you first start something new like twitter or facebook and you feel so dumb and try to get in the middle of a game.
its kind of like that
you all are great! and you ann are a sweetheart
We moved a lot when I was growing up too 8 schools in 12 years and I always fit in after a bit but that first part is like ughhhh how long am i going to be stupid new girl.
Tammy, we care! Marching myself straight over to your blog right now.
Ann,
Love the story about your Mom at Mickey D’s, the twitter bug has hit the blog , I’m Squatchez Mom on twitter but I don’t use it much since I’m sleeping or working. I Love that poem, very sensual…remind hubby about it tonight I have the night off!!! Going to beautiful downtown Worcester to see a band that we follow when I’m not working. BTW, I too have keyword in my Yahoo account…Denis is willing to trade the Prudential Building, Brookline,and one of his kidneys for Halladay, I’m a Red Sox Fan too but…..LOL Hope you all have a great weekend.
i know about feeling new and stupid on the internet, what is worse is when you do sort it out and no one even cares or replies or acts as if you are there. another down side to social networking
Tracy–I don’t twitter, either ( I do admit to texting, however; it was one of the first “cool” things I did after IMing) But I don’t feel left out at all-I’m having so much fun watching all of the rest of you trying to figure it out, follow each other, respond, and all of the other things that happen with a tweet!! I am not being tempted in the least to join this–another form of “social networking”–yeah right !! Following people who don’t have a clue that I even exist. But again–it is fun to watch you guys maneuver your way around twitter world !
Also Tracy–I’ve been to the rice pudding spot–my daughter discovered it…it is great, isn’t it? When I was in the city on Wednesday–getting terrific news, by the way, clean bill of health–I stopped at Crumbs Bakery for the first time. I must admit, the cupcakes were ok, but they had almond cookies that melt in your mouth…yummy delicious! When we are in together ( I hope soon) we’ll make it one of our stops. I’ll email or call you; no Twittering allowed !!
Cheryl – smoking “the pot”. Very funny
Jennifer, found your lost comment.
And Lupe, I don’t think it’s meant to be anonymous, but you’re only allowed a certain number of letters for your “tweet” so it’s best to be concise. I just loved that my mom introduced herself as Judy Howe from Marblehead. It was like something I would do. “I’m Ann, you know….Ann from Connecticut. My husband, he’s the actor…I wrote some books…Hello? Hello?”
Ok, my post earlier must have gone into the spam folder again. Your blog doesn’t like me right now for some reason!
I love the story of your Mom at McDonald’s! That’s adorable. I guess she thought it was like ordering take out at a restaurant? It had me laughing so hard. And your Mom is on twitter? Too cute for words. Now I REALLY feel out of it. I’m the technogeek among all my friends, except for my refusal to text.
I don’t get why you can’t use your real name on twitter. Another twitter mystery.
It’s very funny that all talk has gone to twitter all of a sudden. I have a google alert for John Scurti, who most of you know is my crush (blush). It’s in case there are any interviews of him online, or any tv appearances my tivo doesn’t catch. (I’m not a stalker, I swear!) Anyway, today’s alert was this tweet: ‘Spotted at the Apple Store in NYC: John Scurti, who plays Lt. “Lou” Kenny Shea on “Rescue Me”‘ lololololol Too funny for words. I can’t believe that someone tweeted that, and that google alerts actually picks up something as picayune as that!
I think it is funny that people want to post but want anonimity. (sp?). Like the bit about getting a phone call, but it is a ‘private’ number. Well, do you want to talk to me or not?. And if so, why is it that you want to create suspense?.
And the bit about wearing masks, and I am not talking fetishes. They do that in Spain, when they incarcerate somebody (specially the political groups, or whatever they are), so the faces of the ones doing the job are not recognizable.
I think we are bound to be paranoid like this.
If Ann’s mom prefers to give her name, more power to her. Why should she have to ‘dress’ up in some other ‘outfit’ in order to Tweet?. What the h** is that??
Been reading old books again, said that already, and the ones who did the guillotine and stuff, also wore their faces covered. I don’t know…
Don’t we have Holloween for disguising?.
Wouldn’t it be better to say whatever is in your mind, identify yourself and own your statement?. Seems like hidding behind that new personna that some giberish (the aguuashely@, example, bullshit) gives people ‘protection’. They forgot about the supoenas…and if somebody sounds weird or dangerous, it IS reported and followed up on. If it is malicious stuff, like the ‘material’ that one can read on your way out of the grocery store in those magazines…you usually have the magazine itself to fall back on. But those anonimous posts?. I disagree.
But then again I am growing old and I don’t know everything.
I think I’m now part of the special group of “b-b-but, where is my comment?” – ers. I’d left one last night with my Twitter handle, since I’d forgotten it in my original post (the one about how my Mom is ruining my life, ha ha). Anyway, here it is again: @jenhen. Courtney, I’m following you now. I’ll have to scan the rest of the comments to see who else is on there.
Ann, that is a hilarious story! I am with you regarding twitter etiquette-I don’t have a clue most times. That is why I loved Wanda’s mini-lesson yesterday. What I find funny is when you do a people search, many times their real name comes up anyway, so it is hard to remain anonymous. I typically write information type things, since nobody cares if I’m washing dishes, etc. I can’t believe you are still lost in twitter space-it’s like being lost in the outer limits!
Oh ann the inocents you describe in your mother is awsume.To me it really shows thier generation of trust in our society.Like letting you walk down to the lake by yourself,when now childeren have to be on a leash to go to the bathroom.Someone around the corner in a van is waiting…I to laughed with tears while reading your speacker story.my mom when my son’s were first teenagers said something I havn’t heard since I was a teenager”Cheryl I think he’s smoking The Pot”oh that still gets meGreat post good luck Twitter Girls
Hello, Ann, I’m Cheryl Lage and I’d like to place a comment upon your blog post.
How I love your mom’s drive-thru protocol of politeness! My grandmother until the day she died always “signed off” her answering machine messages, “I love you, Mamaw.” Wonder how they’d fare on Twitter with the limited characters that’d have to include the pleasantries?
No wonder I couldn’t find you last night on Twitter search….I tried to do my “real name” too…now am Twinfatuation…and shall go follow thee.
Sincerely,
Cheryl Lage