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Sister Soldier

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Well, the clutter is gone. How did it happen? My sister Meg, showed up, that’s how. She called on Friday, just to chat. I started to whine about not knowing where to start with all the clutter in my house, and she was in her car and on her way here from Massachusetts before I could even hang up the phone. Meg is one of those organized people. I’ve often thought that she was a little bit OCD with the tidiness and orderliness, but it turns out that she’s just tidy and orderly. And she LOVES tidying and organizing others. Or so she said. Maybe it was just to make me feel better.

Anyway, we started Saturday morning, soon after the sun came up and we worked all day. We filled an entire dumpster. Meg was ruthless. “Throw it away,” she said, over and over again.

I would hold up an old purse, a purse that, in its day, had cost me a small fortune and had well earned its keep in the way of drawing admiring praise from my friends. Now, stained, mildewed and filled with change, old receipts,gum, nuts, flea collars (yes, don’t get me started on the things that accumulate in my bags) Meg told me to toss it.

“But it’s by Balenciaga,” I said.

“I wouldn’t let you walk out of the house with that thing. Look at it,” she replied.

Then, I had to look at it through her eyes and not only did I not want to ever walk out of the house with it, I couldn’t believe I was even touching it. So I tossed it! That’s how the day went. We emptied out drawers, cabinets, closets, an entire room. It felt so good. We filled dozens of contractor-sized garbage bags. Then we loaded then onto the mule:
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And then the bags went into the dumpster. We didn’t do ALL the hauling to the dumpster. Most of the heavy work was done by our friend and handyman Juan.

Here’s a photo of the dumpster when we were finished:
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Well, it’s not the first time my little sister has bailed me out. I love her dearly.

Thanks Meg! I owe you (another) one!

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Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty

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Photo by Moses Pendleton

Photo by Moses Pendleton

On Thursday, as many of you know, I was in a bit of a funk about the condition of my house. It’s just that I was away for much of the summer and then, when I returned, I saw all the work that needs to be done. When you live in a house everyday, you don’t see the clutter. Or at least I don’t. So, I was sort of spinning wheels, moving piles of books from one place to another, muddling over whether or not to keep a pair of old tights or throw them away, when I got a call from the Pendleton-Quinn household. Would I like to come over for tea? There was something so wonderful and childishly rebellious about running outside when I was supposed to be cleaning my room – running off to play with my friends. Well, it was a beautiful, beautiful afternoon, too nice a day to be doing housework!

When I arrived at their house, Cynthia and Moses were standing on their wide wrap-around Victorian porch, looking out at the light. The natural afternoon light. They are planning an event that will take place in their backyard in two weeks. It’s a fundraiser for the Susan B. Anthony Project – an area organization that provides shelter and counseling for battered women. They’re having a cocktail party/dance performance with their dance company Momix and they needed to decide where the dancers would perform, where the people would watch, etc. It was the exact time in the afternoon that the performance would take place and they wanted my opinion on some of the decisions regarding these matters. I was so wildly flattered that they wanted my advice, that I only scolded them a few dozen times about the fact that they hadn’t invited me to the party.

“It’s a fundraiser – people bid on it at an auction,” they replied.

“Well, okay, I’m coming, if you insist,” I said.

After we had discussed the party and admired Moses’ garden, we all decided to ride bikes over to the farm where Moses leases land to grow his beloved sunflowers. The ride over to the farm was so bucolic and scenic. Moses and Cynthia only live ten minutes from me, but if felt like I was in another world. We arrived at the farm and there were fields of sunflowers all around us. Moses has rows and rows, acres and acres of sunflowers. He tends to them all day, everyday, during their growing season. He uses them as inspiration for his choreography, most recently in his show, Botanica, but mostly, he just cares for them because it’s his calling. He loves his sunflowers like children. He grows them for the pleasure of watching them grow. He’s a true artist in that he works to create beauty – for beauty’s sake. Not for profit or show. Just to create and nurture and photograph and admire beauty.

Photo by Moses Pendleton

Photo by Moses Pendleton

When we arrived, the sun was settling low on the fields and it provided a wonderful backlighting to the flocks of brilliant flowers that surrounded us. You notice the light, when you’re with Moses. The light, the delicate fuzz on the stalk of a sunflower; the way an opening blossom looks like the crowning of a baby’s head during birth; the way that a sunflower has shimmering hues of purple and green in its center; the way that the surrounding wheat grass has a golden, hazy crown on the top of its stalk.

There were several different stands of sunflowers. Moses had them separated by types. We walked up to a patch of sunflowers that were all about eye-level with me. There was something girlish and adolescent about their stature. They were slender and of a type that doesn’t grow into the towering one-eyed monsters of the mammoth variety. These dainty sunflowers all faced the same direction, oddly, away from the sun, and Moses positioned me in front of them and I got to have the experience of having all eyes on me, they way he does each day. It felt like they were waiting for me to offer them something – like I was their sun, and since I was facing them, and the setting sun, my face was warm, and… well … it was really something.

I told Moses that I thought that sunflowers followed the sun during the day, that their big, brilliant heads always faced the sun. Moses explained that during most of their growth, they do that, but when they reach maturity, they stop following the sun. In the morning, they may be facing it, but in the evening, they keep it on their backs. They are their own sun now. Their heads are so heavy and full of pollen and seeds, they don’t need any more sustenance. They’re sort of like people, in their middle years, I thought, as Moses, Cynthia and I pedaled off on our bikes. At a certain age, you become saturated with the knowledge that comes from a lifetime of alternating darkness and light, until one day, you’re just your own source of light. Your own sun.

We rode home in the dusk, we three, past fields of hay, and darkening woods. We were home before dark, and then, I went back to cleaning my room.

Photo by Moses Pendleton

Photo by Moses Pendleton

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I’m Supposed to Be Purging

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My house is full of clutter. Monday a contractor comes to do some measuring for some work that needs to be done. Today, I’m supposed to be cleaning/throwing stuff away. Instead, have spent the day on the computer.
I just posted this on Huffington Post.
Now closing the laptop. Bye-bye.

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Search Me

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I am able to check the “stats” on this blog – the number of “Hits” and “Sessions” and “Page Views,” and though I can’t see who exactly is reading the blog, I can see which countries they are reading it from, what time of day most people read, how much time people spend on each page, etc. I really can’t be bothered with stuff like that so I only check the stats every single day. The minute I wake up.

In addition to learning how many people are reading my blog, I can also see what “search terms” people use to find their way here. These are the words that people type into Google or some other search engine. Some of these are very funny. “Ann Leary,” Anne Leary,” “Denis Leary,” are, of course, the most common search terms, but I also, almost daily, get “Lady Chatterley’s crisis.” I blogged about Lady Chatterley’s crisis once, but never dreamed that people actually googled this term. I’m not kidding, it’s a daily thing. Do people not understand what the crisis is all about? Are they looking for some kind of literary erotica site? Lady Chatterley’s Crisis would be a great name for such a site. Hmmmm, I have a sort of fun idea brewing in my head right now….

Today I also saw that “a bat just flew past my head and now I’m afraid I have rabies” was one of the “search terms” that led some poor hapless soul to my blog. I know this person’s pain well, having had bats not only whiz past my head but also clinging to my pajamas. I can understand being so deranged with fright that I might start entering fully formed sentences into search bars, expecting to be linked to the Center for Disease Control or, at least, an “All About Bats” site, and I can also imagine the dismay this poor individual (covered with invisible but deadly, rabies-laden bat spittle) must have felt when he or she landed here.

This week, though, my favorite search term is: “christian novels with clamshell railroad washington coast.” Yes, somebody googled that phrase and found their way here. And, if you’re still with us, my Christian bookworm friend, I too love the clamshell railroad/ Washington Coast book genre, but can’t recall ever blogging about it. Nonetheless, welcome!

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A Work in Progress

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Here’s Daphne working on the new pool. It’s really coming along.
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Apparently the whole idea was inspired by a small, burrowing rodent.

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Surprise!

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I arrived home today and caught the girls hard at work. They had wanted to surprise me but I arrived home too early. They’re building us a new swimming pool! Will photograph giant hole tomorrow.
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She’s “Special”

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As promised yesterday, I will now tell the true story of how our dog, Lulu, the St. Bernard/Airdale mix almost died after eating a portion of our driveway this summer. But first, a few words about Lulu.
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I have blogged about Lulu before, more than once. Oh and here’s a good one. But I have purposely not told you the whole truth about her. The reason I haven’t shared this is because there’s really no nice way of saying it and I don’t want all the dog lovers here to get all upset and call me mean and cruel.

The fact is that Lulu is as dumb as a board. The dog is just plain stupid. She has proven this to us on many occasions and we have often wondered whether she suffered some sort of brain damage as a puppy or was just born with a staggeringly low IQ.

She has absolutely no problem-solving skills. None. Most carnivorous animals have excellent problem-solving skills because hunting for food that runs away requires some strategizing. Wild dogs must communicate with each other in order to hunt in packs and that is why dogs make such great human companions. They’ve learned to understand our movements and much of our language, and through repetition, can be taught to do many useful things, such as coming when they’re called, or getting off the bed when told. This is the ordinary dog I’m talking about. Lulu is no ordinary dog.

Lulu came to us from a rescue organization in Louisiana at nine months of age and, at first, we mistook her boundless enthusiasm and general doofiness as a stage she was going through. We thought she was all excited to find herself on a farm instead of on death row (she had been in a kill shelter with bad hip dysplasia). We just assumed she was adjusting.

The time she dove into the dishwasher to lick a plate and backed up with the bottom rack of dishes attached to her collar, we laughed until we wept. She was still madly licking the dishes as she dragged the rack around the house smashing dishes left and right. When she got her jaw trapped in Daphne’s collar and almost strangled my dear Daphne to death, nobody was laughing. (In fact, be careful leaving young, playful dogs at home with collars on. Dogs have died from this.) When she wore a chair as a necklace, in another act of outrageous greed, we were, again, howling with laughter.

But here’s something that’s not so funny: She doesn’t understand the “come” command. She is not being stubborn when she doesn’t come. It’s just something she hasn’t been able to figure out. On a cold, snowy night, she will be sitting up on our hill staring dolefully down at the house.
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I will open the door and call her. She whines and squirms and does all sorts of theatrics but the dog WILL NOT COME. Then I will shake a box of treats and this sends her almost out of her mind with desire. She yelps and cries. If only I could be there with the people! In the warm house. With the food! This is what she is thinking, but she is on the hill, and we are in the house and she can’t, for the life of her, figure out how to change that! I swear, each and every time, I must don a coat and boots and walk up to her and when I reach her side, she does this joyous leaping and bounding and then we run down to the house together. She has been saved again! But the next night, when I call her, she is stumped all over again. If only I could be with them…they’re so close … but yet … so far!

I must say her instincts for protection are very much intact, as one day, at the gas station, she didn’t like the way a man came running up to me (he was looking for directions) and she turned into a snarling, teeth-gnashing she-wolf and almost made it through the window in her attempt to annihilate the guy. I gave her many kisses for her heroics, that day, in truth, the guy was a little odd. You really shouldn’t run at ladies with oversized, mentally challenged dogs in the car.

Anyway, last month, Denis had a bunch of guys over playing street hockey. There are often snacks and coffee at these street hockey games but all the guys know to keep everything away from Lulu. After one game, last year, she devoured a bunch of those little metal creamer containers and we were picking them up with the pooper scooper, all over the yard, for weeks. Anyway, the night after the hockey game, last month, Lulu refused her supper. We were away, but our caretaker alerted us because Lulu treats each and every kibble that is ever served her as if it’s the first morsel she’s had in months and for her to refuse food is not a good sign. Plus she was moaning. Fortunately, Steve rushed her to the animal hospital where they x-rayed her and saw that her stomach was filled with round sharp-looking foreign objects. Bone? They wondered. Bits of stick? No. It was gravel. Lots of it. What we were able to surmise was that one of the guys must have let a little bit of grease from a sandwich, or perhaps a drop of cream from his coffee dribble onto the driveway and Lulu greedily gobbled up whatever it was, with a huge side order of driveway.

This dog was a rescue mutt, but we have spent more on vet bills for this one dog than for any horse I’ve ever owned (Lulu’s the one with the double hip surgery). But she’s fine now. And the good thing about being so simple, is she’s like that guy in Flowers for Algernon. She’s like Charly. I really wouldn’t want her to receive any type of treatment that would improve her intelligence, as then she might end up like our old dog Rocky, who was super smart (really, smarter than me) and as a result, he worried, fretted and second-guessed us all the time.
Lulu has no idea that she’s “different” and so she is the happiest dog I have ever known.
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I’m just not expecting her to pull me out of any burning buildings.

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I’m On HuffPo!

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You know how some of you suggested I send my last blog to HuffPo? Well, I did. And…it’s up! It’s here!
I guess it’s important to get a lot of comments so let’s move the party over there. Please? I’m begging now.

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I don’t think that Britain asked to be involved in our national debate over healthcare reform, but recent comments from certain members of congress, such as Republican Paul Broun of Georgia who claims that the UK and Canada “don’t have the appreciation of life as we do in our society, evidently,” have put some Brits on the defensive about their National Health Service. In fact, a recent “trending topic” on Twitter (I know, I promised to stop hanging out there) was “We love the NHS”. Thousands of British citizens felt compelled to defend their health service, on, Twitter, from the likes of Representative Broun and Sarah Palin. I don’t know what personal experience Congressman Broun has with Britain’s NHS, but I’d like to share ours.

(If you’ve read my book, An Innocent, A Broad, feel free to skip this post and perhaps browse through the “Horses, dogs, cats” category.)

In March of 1990, my family became uninvited guests of the NHS. It wasn’t our plan. Denis and I were young, broke and I was 6 months pregnant. We had been flown to London by the BBC because Denis, then an unknown comic, had been hired to appear on a television variety show called London Underground. We were supposed to stay for two nights but – and I wish there was a daintier way to say this – my water broke as we strolled down Oxford Street, the day after we arrived.

Denis and I took a taxi to University College Hospital in central London and were immediately seen by an obstetrician and admitted. I was given an ultrasound and an amniocentesis test and it was confirmed that I was pregnant with a 26-week-old fetus. The doctor informed us that our baby’s chances of survival were less than 50%, if he were to be born during the next few days. I would like Sarah Palin to rest assured that there was no “death panel” to determine whether or not our son was worth saving. On the contrary, I was placed in the maternity ward and received outstanding medical care from UCH’s highly qualified and compassionate medical staff. I was given a series of injections of a steroid that had not yet been approved in the United States, but that helped my baby’s lungs produce surfactant – a substance that normally doesn’t develop in human lungs until 32 weeks gestation. Because of these injections, my son, who was born at 28 weeks gestation, breathed on his own from birth, and was never placed on a ventilator.

As non-citizens, we were not entitled to receive free services from the NHS, but nobody delayed our admission or emergency medical care to ask how we intended to pay. We had health insurance, but the doctors and nurses actually seemed slightly embarrassed when we brought this up and it was several weeks into my stay at the hospital before an administrator approached me to inquire about the insurance. He assured me that I would receive the same standard of care whether I was insured or not, but if I had insurance, they would like to be reimbursed, if that was possible. Of course we were happy to supply our insurance information and our carrier was more than happy to pay up (you’ll see why in a minute).

I was in the hospital for two weeks before delivering, had multiple ultrasounds, the amniocentesis, blood tests, medications and ultimately a caesarian delivery. Our son was in the neonatal intensive care unit for two months, the first weeks in a level one unit where he had 24-hour, one-on-one nursing care. After I recovered from my surgery, I was provided a room in the University College’s student dormitory for a very minimal fee. I was given a hospital breast pump and was encouraged, daily, by the midwives and nurses, to keep my milk supply up. After our son’s discharge from the hospital, he still wasn’t healthy enough to travel by plane so we had a health professional come to our temporary home – as they do to every home in Britain after a baby is born – to see how we were doing. The “health visitor” taught me an infant message technique that she had learned at a seminar in Sweden that was known to improve the muscle development of preterm babies. She taught me how to hold our tiny baby in a way that soothed his colicky belly. She answered my frantic, new-mother questions. She hugged me, because I was a little teary, and so far from home. She gave me her card and told me to call her anytime. She told me where to take our baby for his first vaccinations. Later, she called me to check that our son had received them.

Our bill? 10,000 British pounds. At some point we compared medical bills with an American couple that had had a 28-week preemie at around the same time. Their bill was in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
But more to the point than the cost of the care, was the value that was placed on our tiny son’s life from the moment we walked, dazed and panic-stricken through the doors of University College Hospital. The goal of every person who attended to us, every moment that we were there, was to save this baby and offer him the best medicine had to offer. In some cases, such as with the steroid injections, this was better medicine than would have been available to us in the United States.

I spent many weeks in the neonatal unit and saw many sad cases. Babies with severe birth defects. Babies who were born at 24 weeks gestatation, or even earlier. Some of these babies had been in the NICU for months and months. There was no “death panel” deciding the fate of these most vulnerable lives. No life was considered unworthy of the outstanding care that was being provided. I learned, during our time in the UK, that the British are very proud of the NHS and for good reason. How embarrassing, now, to have to watch our provincial leaders, in the government and the media, try to frighten American voters by making uninformed, extremely negative references to a healthcare system, that, in my experience, far outshines our own.

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Birdland

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So, I’ve been on Twitter for a few weeks now, and I’m happy to report, to those of you not yet there, that it’s a rather silly place to pass the time. It’s also a sort of a sad commentary on our society that some people feel compelled to tweet every little thought that strays into their TV-soaked, ADHD addled, 21st century brains. Who has the time for this nonsense?

Well, I do.

The other day a “trending topic” (something a gazillion people are tweeting about, all over the world) was “period cup.” I realized, then, that I had found my people. It’s gross, the period cup, but google it if you must. The point is that in one day there can be a trending topic about Britain’s National Health Service and on the same day a trending topic about period cups. What a wonderful world we live in!

I could be on twitter all day – tweeting away, retweeting, choking with mirth at some tweets, cursing and hissing with venom at others. There are tweeters I’ve come to adore and those I just love to hate. There is one author tweeter I follow, although I’m not sure how I came to follow her as she’s not somebody I’ve ever heard of outside of twitter, who tweets regularly and every time I read one of her tweets, I think “shut up!” Every time. Trust me, there is really no other appropriate response to her tweets than “shut up!” I tweeted about this (without mentioning names) and was retweeted by a twitterer named @shutupmeg I love @shutupmeg because of her moniker and because she often tweets “shut up” at people. I can’t follow her though, because she seems a little younger and swears all the time and, I don’t know, I just feel kind of creepy and old following her.

Anyway, now I know what people are doing when they’re tapping away on their iphones and blackberries everywhere I look. I used to think they were texting. I think the kids are still texting, but the older people are twittering away like songbirds. Now I’ve decided to start tweeting poems. It’s the challenge of the 140 character restriction that inspires me, as well as the ability to compose wherever I am. Right there on the iphone. Here are my first two:

From Saturday: Today’s legs are brown/ They are crossed on the beach/ Next month they’ll be weathered, wrinkled and pale/I must uncross them

And today: Taxi TV/ Taxi TV/ how you disgust me Taxi TV/ Touch screen to begin?/You get under my skin/ Shut up backseat plasma, shut up

No really, Pulitzer Prize committee…I just can’t accept.

I’ve also found some good blogs like tremendousnews.com, which is funny (and mostly about Twitter – still, trust me, it’s funny).

So come join the fun all. What’re you waiting for? A life? I’m @annleary, by the way.

PS – I get messages every day asking me if Denis is on Twitter. No, he is not, though there have been some imposters. But if he were, he’d no doubt be receiving many happy birthday tweets, today.

Happy birthday, sweets!

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