Thank you all for the kind words about Steve. I’m in Marblehead with my mom until next weekend.  Here’s a shot of Brown’s Island.

Some quaint streets in Old Town:

The names of the streets? I have no idea.  I lived in Marblehead from 8th grade until college and rode every street and alley on my bike many, many times (I was lazy about getting my driver’s license), but never really paid much attention to the names of the streets.  Fortunately people around here don’t really use proper street names too often, but will say things like, “Across from where Penni’s used to be,” or “Next to the Rippah” which is a great old dive called The Riptide.

Like many Massachusetts seacoast towns, there are a lot of Labrador Retrievers in Marblehead.  Really a lot.  Yesterday my sister and I were outside my mother’s house when a woman walked up with a black Labrador on a leash.

“Is this your dog?” she asked.

“No,” Meg said.  Meg lives across the street from my mother.  ”I think that’s Buddy who lives in the grey house at the bottom of the road,” she told the woman.

“No Buddy is my neighbor,” said the woman. “But I think I brought this dog here once before when he was wandering.”

“That would have been Skippy,” I said. Skippy was my mother and Steve’s old Lab and I explained to the woman that he died several months ago.  The woman then told us that her black Lab looked so much like the one she was walking that she had thought it was hers at first, and then she and Meg ran through all the names of the Labs in the neighborhood and it occurred to me that it was entirely unlikely that anyone in Marblehead has the original black Labrador that he or she started out with.  Later, my mother told us that after Skippy died, she heard a dog’s footsteps walking up her stairs and was startled when a black Labrador wandered into her office.  It was the neighbor’s dog and somebody had found it, thought it was Skippy, and put him inside my Mom’s house.

I think that Marblehead should do with its Labradors what Amsterdam did with the community white bicycles.  People can take a black Lab off the streets when they need one to walk with or to lie by their hearth, and when they’re finished they can just return it to the streets.

I think that’s actually what’s going on, anyway.

People in Marblehead are wicked nice. They’re the balls, as we used to say, and my mother and sister are lucky to be surrounded by such a caring community.

Yes, We’re still practicing the skateboard and ball.

Why must we we work so tirelessly at these difficult and dangerous tricks? Because we know that some day, some glorioius day in the not too distant future, we will be asked to appear on this show:

As many of you are probably aware, it is no longer enough to spend months and often years writing a book. Today an author must help sell the book, and by sell, I mean she must make each and every person in the northern hemisphere aware of obsessed with the book. She must make them understand that they need the book in order to survive in today’s world. She must make them wake up each morning and ask, “if not now, when? If not me, who? If not the …”

Wait, I’m not sure those are the questions.

The point is, like many businesses, publishers are struggling these days and they like it if their authors will pitch in and help. I regret not doing more to push my last book, but never mind, today I got to help my friend Julie Klam with the book trailer for her delightful forthcoming memoir, You Had Me At Woof.

Julie asked me several weeks ago if I would direct her book trailer and of course I was wildly flattered and within minutes of hanging up the phone with her I had launched myself on yet another fantastical voyage of delusion.  I decided that the Julie Klam book trailer would be such a smash that authors would say to each other, at cocktail parties, “You have a book coming out?  Is Ann Leary doing your book trailer?  You have to get Ann Leary to do your book trailer.  She did Salmon’s! She just did Elmore’s! She did Nora’s”  Yes, I would be the Annie Leibowitz of book trailers. Julie Klam is cut from the same cloth it seems, because she told me that within minutes of hanging up the phone with me she was tearfully rehearsing her acceptance speech for the book trailer award (we wondered if there must be such a thing and it turns out, there is).

Julie had been wowed by some of my recent work, but I had to confess to her that I only really know how to use a FlipCam, and so we decided that my son Jack, an actual film student who is working on a television crew, would be the co-director/cameraman/guy-who-does-everything-but-talk.  We discussed a few ideas, but Julie’s hysterical book is all about how out of control her dogs are; how they’ve destroyed her house, upended her relationship with her husband, scarred her daughter for life, etc, so we decided that her yappy, outrageously naughty terriers would be enough to carry the film, just by being themselves.

Here was the hitch: Julie’s terriers are so bad, so utterly devious that they will do the opposite of what she wants, NO MATTER WHAT. So today they conspired to be the most well-behaved dogs ever filmed.  Just to make fools of us. They couldn’t possibly have been more angelic. They made Cesar Millan’s dog, Daddy, look like a thug.  They made Lassie look like a crack whore.  I have never seen three more well-behaved dogs in my life.  Did I mention that they’re terriers? Boston Terriers?

Still, we managed to get some funny antics and we had a blast.  I must admit, I regretted wearing a sleeveless black top, because Julie also wore a sleeveless black top, but she has the arms of a ballerina. And though her dogs are mostly black, they manage to shed only their white hairs.

Anyway, as soon as it’s all edited it’ll be on YouTube where you can see it and tell all your friends. And then it’ll go viral. Next, there’ll be calls from Oprah, network and studio heads. And, of course, Julie and I will be offered our own television show.

I’ve been trying to teach Holly to stay. Yesterday, I told her and Daphne to lie down and stay, which Daphne did quite willingly. Holly pulled her usual stunt. Not only does she break the stay after a nanosecond every time, but then she becomes completely undone by her own wickedness, and puts on a maniacal display of the ultimate bad doggery such as attacking my ankles or ripping a piece of paper to shreds.  Such a naughty pup. She really thinks its a funny joke to do the most extreme opposite of the stay command.  Yesterday, she tried to corrupt Daphne into breaking the stay with her, but Daphne, appalled and unamused as usual, set a very fine example of how a dog with dignity and grace is supposed to behave.

Good girl, Daphne:

Canal Street Sunset

This weekend I was in Manhattan, attending the final show of Denis’s Rescue Me Comedy Tour, which was being taped for a Comedy Central special.  Very funny show with Denis, Lenny Clarke, Adam Ferrara and Whitney Cummings.  I had seen Denis, Lenny and Adam before, of course,  but had never seen Ms. Cummings perform and she is HYSTERICAL.  You might have seen her on Chelsea Handler or Conan or heard her on Howard Stern, but if not, you will see her on something soon because she is going to be very famous.

And my recent interview with Julie Klam, is now available on iTunes. I’m not sure how to link to the exact interview but this link should bring you to iTunes and you can scroll down to my show.

And my EMT course is winding down. Tons of homework and studying. National and state certification exams are soon.

Did any of you see the Disney animated film, 101 Dalmations?  Remember the “twilight bark,” when the dogs would bark from village to village about another dog in trouble?  Well, on Twitter this past Saturday, my friend, author Julie Klam, sent out a real-life human equivalent of the twilight bark in the hopes of finding a home for an abandoned, abused pit  bull she and her husband had found in Manhattan.  Julie is very involved in Boston Terrier rescue organizations and is a bit of a dog nut like me.  She has a great, funny and poignant memoir coming out this fall called You Had Me at Woof, and when it’s released we’ll have her on this blog for one of our fabulous book chats.

Anyway, Julie spent all day Saturday trying to find a place for the dog that she and her husband Paul were calling “Morris”.  They couldn’t bring him home because though they had found Morris to be quite friendly with other dogs, their Boston Terriers are territorial and they feared the little ones would attack Morris and then there might be a fight. So Julie turned to Twitter. She tweeted about Morris, posted a photo of his charming mug, and people from around the nation tweeted and retweeted with all sorts of suggestions and advice.  I saw Julie’s tweet and called her to see what was going on and she told me that the only shelter in Manhattan that would take him was Animal Care and Control and they don’t try to place pit bulls. They put them down.  Then she told me that the dog had cigarette burns on his paws.  That’s when I asked her if she could bring him up to me.  I said I could possibly foster him until he finds a home.

After his very dramatic arrival, I learned that though the dog is friendly with dogs and humans, he believes horses are too much like the bulls his ancestors fought and I needed to find a place for him without livestock.  That’s when I called Stephanie Fergusen from The Simon Foundation.

I drove the poor, confused, sweet dog up to the Simon Foundation’s new facility in Bloomfield, CT and I was BLOWN AWAY by this wonderful, wonderful animal shelter.  The Simon Foundation rescues and places dogs and cats of all breeds, but like many shelters, most of the dogs are at least part pit bull.  This new facility was designed so that the adoptable dogs can be socialized, exercised, have some training and lots of assessment before they are shown to potential adopters.  The place is huge, brand new and cleaner than any hospital I have ever visited.  There were 80 dogs there last weekend and no kennel odors because Stephanie is obsessed with cleanliness.  There is a huge kitchen where I saw the same very high quality dog food that I feed my own dogs,and all sorts of medications and suppliments for the animals.  The dogs’ bowls are run through commercial dishwashers daily in order to sterilize them. There is a whelping room, visiting rooms with furniture so that prospective owners can see what the dogs are like in a home setting. But best of all is the exercise room. This is a huge, air-conditioned indoor arena with rubber floors and balls, dog toys and agility training equipment.  The dogs are allowed to play in this room each day, often with other dogs whom they get along with. Oh, and a trainer comes several times a week to assess the animals and teach them manners. I saw several dogs being shown on Sunday, including a stunning dog named Reale, who I must confess, captured my heart.  Stephanie had Reale sit, lie down and fetch for the couple and then she just let them play with him.  What was most impressive to me was the complete understanding Stephanie had of each animal she showed that day and how careful she was to make prospective owners understand each dog’s assets and shortcomings.

I received an email from Stephanie last night which I will post in the comments because it’s too long to post here, but they are in desperate need of supplies and donations.  It costs a lot to operate an animal shelter the way the Simon Foundation does, and even a donation of a few dollars helps. You can donate by clicking here.

Oh, and the Simon Foundation workers LOVE “Morris” but felt the name didn’t fit him. He is now “Puck.”  Is it because he was abandoned on a midsummer night?  Because he was fostered at the house of a hockey nut. Or because he’s so pucking cute?

Anyway, Julie Klam and I won’t rest until we’ve helped Puck find his perfect permanent home.

The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, the insane or the annoying.

Saturday. June 19, 2010. Dog Detective Ann Leary on duty.

Time: 0920. Incident: Loaf of bread reported stolen from countertop in an occupied residence. Suspect: Blonde labradoodle who was spotted loitering in area where bread was last seen.  Owner of bread, 18-year-old female, reports that she left room for several minutes and when she returned, bread and suspicious dog had disappeared. No noticeable signs of forced entry to home, but deciding to investigate further, I discover that “doggie door” is still flapping.  Suspect intercepted on lawn, dividing loot with her shifty-eyed conspirators – a large red mongrel and a juvenile terrier.  All are apprehended. Victim is considering civil suit to cover cost of emotional damage to her soul. She was forced to have an english muffin instead of toast.  Case pending.

Time: 1142. Incident: Numerous reports of dog harassing a horse.  Upon arrival at barn, I find large red mongrel shouting insults at black horse.  Horse is trying to ignore the verbal assault which seems to enrage mongrel who escalates her barrage of insults.  Red dog cited for disrupting peace.

Time: 1337. Incident: Receive call from a Detective Julie Klam in New York City.  Abused pit bull dog found tied to tree in Washington Heights. No room at NYC shelters except city pound which will euthanize. Detective Klam explains that “euthanize” means kill.  She speaks slowly and uses simple words. “I went to college, too,” I inform her.  I hear Officer Klam choking with mirth. They’re all the same these city dog detectives. Think they’re so smart with all their book learning and their artsy movie houses and their street “cred.”  Detective Klam offers to transport dog to CT.  Some people will do anything for a few hours of overtime.  Officer Klam and I agree that my department will offer refuge to pit bull until he can be placed in a permanent home or at a no-kill shelter. I give her directions and prepare for dog’s arrival.

Time: 2105.  Officer Klam arrives with her partner, Officer Leo. They release abuse victim, “Morris”, from back seat of car.  Morris is an adult male.  He begins to urinate as soon as he has all four paws on driveway.  We officers discuss his rescue. We discuss the dog’s future. We discuss the weather, and the traffic on the drive up. Morris continues to urinate.  We discuss astrology and exchange our childbirth stories and admire photos of each others’ children. Morris is still weeing, glancing up at us apologetically from time to time. We admire each others’ badges. Finally, after approximately ten minutes, Morris decides to change it up.  His spine, which had been inverted dramatically during the lengthy urine drainage, is now humped and seizing. He has diarrhea. He begins the diarrhea release on the driveway and in a show of startling athleticism, he is able to move, humping and squirting, to the newly planted flower bed 20 feet away. There he decides to turn the fecal output into a fine spray.

Time 2330: Morris has finally finished voiding his bowels. Officer Klam reports that she had given Morris three cans of Alpo prior to transport. She and Officer Leo pretend that this wasn’t a practical joke.  Morris is settled into his crate for the night and Officers Leo and Klam start their drive back to the city. Morris whines and I choke on a sob as their tail lights disappear from view. It’s lonely, sometimes, being a country dog detective. I had taken a shine to officers Klam and Leo, despite their slick city ways, but now…now they were gone.

Stay safe officers Klam and Leo. Perhaps we’ll meet again on another case. Until then, this is Officer Leary, signing off.

I had a full day.

I was up with the dawn because the puppy needed to go out and the animals all needed to be fed before I headed off to be on a television show.  I was co-host on Better Connecticut with Scot Haney again today and I couldn’t possibly have had more fun.  Here’s a clip that I was able to lift from the web.  I was given a DVD of the entire show and would like to figure out how to load clips from it onto the blog, because we had a woman celebrating her 102nd birthday on the show and she was amazing.  She was beautiful and bright and lighthearted and she had hand-crocheted the most intricately worked lace doilies for us.  I just loved meeting her. She was born in 1908.

Then I came home and had some fun taking photographs of animals enjoying the galley of my friend Julie Klam’s forthcoming book, YOU HAD ME AT WOOF.  My favorite of the photos is this:

That’s my friend Jenny Carolan’s dog Rugby, above. He is quite the character, as you can see.  I also like the photo below:

Okay, this is the best:

Alright, my favorite:

And then I went riding and found that I could videotape our silhouette – our shadow, on the grass, climbing up and down the hills with us.  I could have done a better job editing. At one point we were cantering quite fast and I had to mess around with the reins. It was a beautiful day for a ride. Hope you like the video.  If you can’t see the embedded video, click here.

The other night when I returned from my class, my sister Meg informed me that Holly had brought something in from outside.  At first we thought it was a rawhide chew toy but we soon learned that Holly was trying to help me with my anatomy lessons.

The review section of my text book is filled with multiple choice questions and I thought it would be fun to test your knowledge.  So here goes:

1. The woman in the picture above:

a)    Is about to scream

b)   Will have to resist the urge to throw adorable puppy across the room

c)    Is about to fall to the floor, clinging to her laughing/crying sister

d)   All of the above

2. The animal pictured above is:

A)  A cutie-pie who has retrieved something useful for her mistress

B)  A naughty rascal who is carrying the remains of a shoe

C)  A filthy, disgusting scavenger carrying on with carrion

3. What is sad/ironic about the above picture?

a)    People pay good money to feed this dog

b)   People share their pillow with this dog

c)   The dog is carrying a jaw maxima bone with its maxima/mandible bones

d)   All of the above

4. CASE STUDY: You are a certified EMT and arrive to find the patient pictured above. Your first step is:

a) Ask patient for consent to provide treatment

b) Check that pulse is normal

c)  Reassure patient that he/she will be fine

d) Clear airway and begin to administer CPR