TURNING 50 IS REALLY NO BIG DEAL BECAUSE:

A) Nobody cares about 50-year-olds

B) I know this to be a fact, because I keep telling people and

C) They don’t care

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SOUNDS LONGER?

A) 50 Years

B) 5 short decades

C) Half a century

D) Two score and ten years

E) Pre-dotage

F) Post-prime

SOME OF US ARE ABLE TO AGE GRACEFULLY, AND WE ARE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT OUR FADING LOOKS. THIS IS BECAUSE WE ARE:

A)  Concerned with larger things, like world peace and the environment

The other day I was driving through a neighboring town that has a rather busy main street, when I saw, in my rearview,  that a state trooper was speeding up behind me, lights flashing, sirens blaring.  I pulled over to let the car pass. Obviously there was a crime happening and I’m not one to step in the way of the law.  Instead of speeding past, however, the police car pulled up behind me. It was me they were after.  I did a quick inventory of my driving behavior. I hadn’t been speeding or talking on my phone. I wasn’t drinking, littering, fornicating, firing weapons, sleeping behind the wheel, smoking bath salts.  No, I was just driving along, minding my own business.